Mind one's luck sucks

Mind one here.

Okay, so by now you've read my heart-rending tale of the plug adventures, if not, click the blue underlined words. (I'm getting this blog thing dowwwn) Today, while hobbling around the track meet, I managed to not only shove a goat-head through my flip-flop directly into my foot, I also got the worst sunburn of my life. My shoulders are so red, cars pulled over to let me pass as I walked down the street. The burning feeling from this burn, is so intense, and so agonizing, I feel like Satan is literally pissing on my shoulders. WHY DOES MY LUCK SUCK SO MUCH??????????(Yes in fact if you were wondering today was a mind caps lock day) I've got a few theories as to why my luck has sucked so epically.

Theory #1:
In a previous life, I was a Nazi. I'm seriously considering this one, and not just because I got burned today.  Sorry. That was racist.

Theory #2:
I'm about to become insanely rich off of this blog. And the universe is just trying to shove a lifetimes worth of bad luck into the few remaining days before this blog takes off and I become a ceptionillionare. I'm onto your evil plot universe. Knock it off and make me rich already.

Theory #3:
I've said a great many racist (see theory #1), or rude things (see all other posts). Though a great many of these things were funny, maybe this is a sign that I should be kinder. Well, whatever Deity above, screw that. You've just made it worse by injuring my foot, knocking me out of a track meet, and giving me the burn of Satan. Now I'm super grump!!

Theory #4:
Life just isn't fair. Talented, funny, smart, and down-right stunning people like me get bad luck, its the way of balancing out my many gifts. (Totally kidding here, I'm not that self centered or cocky.)

Mind Two:

All of these theories are great. It could be any of these, or a combination of all of them. I have one of my own.

Theory #5:
This blog is killing us. Seriously, we have become so addicted to blogging and reading other blogs that the universe is trying to tell us something. The sunburn thing is because you haven't seen the light of day in about 12 days. Your skin was not used to the sun and then the universe said "Let's punish her for not coming outside for 12 days because all she wants to do is blog." Conclusion: The world sucks.