Every year, my family and I take a little vacation to Montana to go skiing. It is super fun and super cold and we always have a great time. Well, from here, Montana is about an 8 hour drive. Long and boring and nothing to look at except trees. And then add in two younger siblings, both of whom never shut up. The getting there almost kills me every year and then I think to myself, "I am never doing this again" and then I get on the mountain and everything is fine. This year was a little different.
When we got there, I realized I had forgotten my hat. Montana is always cold, especially in March, when it is like -200 degrees. I couldn't really go skiing without a hat, so my dad took me to the local sporting goods store. I got a hat, and then I lost my dad. Turns out, he found out they were having a sale on skis, so he had to buy some. That took a really long time. I got tired of waiting, so I went over to the magazine rack and started flipping through them. Pretty soon, this dude just comes over and starts talking to me. He is being all flirty and trying to get my number and, like the expert I am, I was dodging all of his questions. Then he had to leave and I was saved.
Now, let me tell you why this is so funny. For one thing, I looked like a cancer patient that day. Not even kidding. I had been driving all day, so I was having a bad hair day. When we got to the store, I figured I would just put the hat on. Then that would at least fix the hair. Well, it actually made it worse. See, when I get really tired, I get these big, dark circles under my eyes. Well, I was tired and cranky. When I put the hat on, it made me look like I was bald. With being bald and having dark circles and wearing sweats, I was a cancer patient.
Another time I got hit on was at a rodeo. I was sitting in the stands and the rodeo was over. We had spotted some friends and were going to go over and talk to them, so we were waiting till the crowd dispersed. I was talking to my brother, still sitting down, and sitting sideways, letting people by me. All of a sudden, someone falls into my lap. It is a little boy, probably 7 or 8. I caught him, so I was holding on to him. I unlatched him from me and helped him stand up. His mom was right there and as they were walking away, I hear his mom say "That is NOT how you pick up girls!" I almost died laughing. Someday, that little boy is going to be a real ladies man.
The last (funny) time I got hit on was at a basketball game. This kid I grew up with is a freaking stud at basketball, so my family likes to go watch him play. It was half-time and I went to go get a drink. I am standing in line and this little kid is behind me. All of a sudden, he taps me on the waist. (He was like 5 so I don't think he could reach my shoulder). He said "Your really pretty," and then handed me a piece of paper with an address written on it. After he handed it to me, he said, "Feel free to babysit anytime." That is one smooth little kid.
Mind one
That is in fact one smooth little kid. That amused me deeply. I've got a few stories like that. Buuuut. I don't want to embarrass anyone. (I just actually don't want to relive that...)
So I'm going to draw mind two as a cancer patient.
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