Now I know that we have already raved on and on about coffee and its many great qualities. But today I suffered from the adverse effects of coffee. I like to call these manic fits of giggles, and extreme violence, Coffee rage.
Coffee rage can rear its ugly head at any point in the day, but it likes mornings the best. C.R usually hits when you haven't had any coffee yet, and you brain is screaming. "GIVE ME CAFFEINE NOW, OR ILL KILL US BOTH!!!" And your sitting there helpless, as your own inner voice verbally abuses you, and threatens your very life. "Seriously mind? Chill out, I got this." Coffee rage makes normal, put together people, become raging slavering beasts that look like extras from that Will Smith movie, I am Legend. It's unattractive.
Coffee rage doesn't have to strike before you've had your coffee, it can literally hit anywhere, anytime, anyplace. Which means its down right impossible to cure. The second form of coffee rage usually hits about ten o'clock in the morning, right about now as I'm writing this post. This rage is caused by too much coffee, too early, when you haven't eaten. So all your body has to run on is this high energy drink, and in my case, its spiked with Irish Cream coffee creamer, because thats exactly what I need in the mornings, caffeine and sugar....This is the kind of rage that gets you wound tighter than Jack Twist at the P.B.R. (Brokeback mountain refernce. YOU SEE WHATS HAPPENING TO ME????) This rage hits, and all of the sudden you cant form a thought with more than three words. It took me like seven tries to type that sentance up there, because the rage hit me mid-post.
Here's a look into how my brain feels right now. This is me. And this is my mental voice.
"DON'T START A BLOG POST, DO YOUR MATH!!!!"
"Shut up!! I already did my math, you watched me do it."
"ARE YOU BACK SASSING ME??????? I DONT WANT US TO FAIL, NOW BUCKLE DOWN AND DO YOUR FREAKING ASSINGMENT!!!!!!!!"
"Stop yelling at me!!! I told you I already did the stupid assingment!!! Stop being so freaking negative!!"
"DO NOT YOU DARE BACK TALK TO ME YOUNG LADY!!!"
" 'Do not you dare'? Really now brain, this is the kind of screwed up grammar that gets us into trouble. And young lady? We are the same age cause guess what? YOU'RE ME!!!!!!!"
"I wouldn't have to yell about it if you weren't so easily distracted, I'm just trying to make you focus, I'm doing me a favor here."
"I'm so not easily distracted, shut your face. Whoa!!! Unicorns? Sick!!!"
"...see thats what I'm talking about, your an idiot."
"Your a jerk self, you are a jerk."
I'll draw you a picture of coffee rage later. It's scary stuff..
Mind Two:
I totally agree. Have you ever had coffee rage at night? That is some scary stuff. Let me tell you a story.
One day, I woke up in the morning and felt really good...ALL BY MYSELF! That's right, no coffee was needed. I was super excited. I was all like "Lets go do something that takes an insane amount of energy!" (Super bad idea). So then I went and jumped on the trampoline for a super long time and I still wasn't tired. So then I went swimming in our pond and did about five hundred laps and I still wasn't tired. So then I did a whole bunch of other stuff that normally makes me very tired and grouchy (like my chores that are supposed to get done once a week and usually get done once a month-ish) and I still wasn't tired. By this time, I was getting worried. See, it was getting really late and I really needed to sleep that night because I work at a coffee shop and I had to get up super early the next morning to go to work. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't tired. Then, as I was talking to my brother, he had the brilliant idea that maybe I wasn't tired because I didn't have my coffee that morning. Then he told me I should drink some RIGHT NOW! And I did. (In my defense, he had a really long and thought out explanation of why I should do this and when my brother starts talking for longer than 5 minutes, I zone out until he's done.) This was at 6. When I went to bed at 9, (work super early. Don't judge me.) my brain went into hyperactive mode.
"HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME THAT WE WENT TO THE ONE PLACE WITH THE ONE THING AND IT WAS SUPER FUN?! IM CHOOSING NOW TO REMIND YOU OF IT!
HEY REMEMBER THAT MATH QUIZ THAT YOU TOTALLY BOMBED LAST YEAR? I REMEMBER HOW TO DO IT...ALL OF IT!
HEY YOU KNOW THAT SONG WE LOVE? I AM GOING TO SING IT TO YOU UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED! DOESN'T THAT SOUND FANTASTIC?!"
After that there was mucho yelling at myself and telling myself to shut up and my whole family asking if I was ok. Then I went to sleep and dragged my butt to work the next day. Good thing I work in a coffee shop.
Here is the picture Mind one promised!!!!!!!! :D
Now. This is the first picture I've ever drawn at home on paint. And this is not the simple old paint from elementary school. We are talking, every color under the rainbow. Differant brushes and crap. I think that writing might have been a caligraphy pen. I dont even know. This is madness. (THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!!! I have a serious 300 obsession. Maybe I'll blog about that next :DDD)
What ever. That's my face when my need for coffee hits the point where I could easily morph into a Dawn of the Dead extra. Wild staring eyes. With differant sized pupils... My legs mysteriously shrink up into my body so I have to scurry around on six inch legs. My arms get indecently long, and two fingers on each had go completely A.W.O.L. It is just unpleasant. I'll go back to playing with paint now. This is some intense crap.....Blog on reader. Blog on. <333
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