Baby corn and other scary things

Mind one here.

Baby corn.
Have you ever noticed those weird little midget baby corn things that salad bars always try to get you to put on your salad??? Those creepy little corn's that look like they have some sort of disease?? WHAT ARE THOSE??? ARE THE A DIFFERENT SPECIES OF CORN? OR ARE THEY JUST CORN FETUSES???? WHAT ARE THEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, obviously I feel rather strongly about these corn things, but they creep me out. I honestly think that they are corn fetuses. Like maybe some sadistic creep of a farmer runs out in his fields, and tears these poor corn fetuses from their mothers. Then sells them to stores and restaurants all excited like "Look!! A new kind of corn! It's okay! I didn't tear baby corn from its mother or anything! They're good!!" Excuse me sir, but uh...screw. you. You sick, twisted, despicable being.

Grasshoppers.
They bite. They jump straight at your face. They are the Kamikaze's of the bug world. They have huge spine like things on their legs. Did I mention they bite???? (Mind Two adding. Did you also notice that they seem to come out of nowhere?? Your just walking along and all of a sudden BOOM! There is a green bug on your face. Gross.)

Birds.
I don't care if its tweety bird, seeing a puddy tat. Or a sixty pound vulture circling ready to puke on my face. Ever since a bird crapped on my head in middle school, I have an epic paranoia. Now every time a bird flies by I run around flapping my hands, and diving for shelter like the Germans are bombing. Birds, Suck!!!!



Mind Two:

Mosquito's.
They are like Vampire bugs. They suck your blood! And they are able to fly. Freaking super-hero vampire bugs. That nobody likes.

Feet.
I think the only explanation this one needs is "gross". Seriously, dude. They are at the bottom of your body for a reason. If they were meant to touch other people, they would be called hands. 'Nuff said.

Tapioca Pudding
I also happen to love pudding. (Another hint.) But tapioca, you have got to be kidding me. I am just eating this creamy deliciousness when all of a sudden, a chunk. GROSS. It makes me feel like I am eating rotten milk.

Robert Pattinson
Seriously, you guys? Your in love with him? He isn't even that cute. And he sucks at acting. Big time. Also, he seems to be very self-centered. I'm just saying.