Facebook

Mind Two (Shania).

Today, I was reading the things that Mind One said about TRAGIED (stands for "that really annoying girl in drivers ed" and that is what I will calling here because it is a heck of a lot easier than writing out "that really annoying girl in drivers ed". Also, I tried to come up with a cool acronym that stood for something and made a word but I couldn't.) First, I laughed so hard I fell off my chair and my fellow classmate just stared at me like I was really freaking crazy and should probably be put in a mental hospital. (Yes, I am typing this during school. But let me make something clear. School is important. Stay in it. Don't drop out or do drugs or alcohol. There. Now I feel like I am a good person.) Then, I managed to regain my composure. Then, the stupid things TRAGIED said made me think of some things that people have said on Facebook. While I am not the most qualified to tell about these since Mind One and I are getting kicked off Facebook someday, I am going to anyway.

"Eating a sandwich"
Seriously?! Are you freaking kidding me? Did you not have anything better to say? And what did you do before Facebook? Call up your BFF and be like "Hey guess what? I am eating a sandwich!" Because if my best friend did that to me, I would break up with them and then they would be all sad and lonely.

"____________ changed their relationship status from 'in a relationship' to 'single'."
NOBODY CARES! If you really broke up with them, fine. Post it. I don't care. But if you are just fighting, DON'T even think about it. When you get in a fight with your parents, you don't just change your status to "orphan", so don't do it with your relationships!

"Why does Facebook even offer the "like" button on my own status. Of course I like my own status! I'm freaking hilarious. And sexy."
Bahahahaha. Ok, you got me. Nobody actually posted this one. I just thought it was really funny and it reminded me of myself. Because this is totally me, guys!

Mind one (Billie)
Mind two has made some excellent points! Although everytime I see the word Orphan above my mind automatically sees Oprah. (Kinda like how my brain thought I should spell "Fly" like "Fligh") I made myself laugh out loud through the tears today while typing about my foot misfortunes. So here are some more things that I have seen on facebook, and seriously questioned....

"I have to pee."
Alright sir, thanks for that. Please be sure not to piss on the wall while your at it. You foul, disgusting, crude, loathesome, creepy, needy, childish freak. You are the kind of person that should be kicked off facebook. Not us!!! Just cause we made fun of Mr. Facebooks probable speech imediment....

"I love the way I hate you."
Excuse me, did you fail first grade? You basically just called your self a bipolar idiot. What obscure corner of the world did you learn to put sentances together in? You enjoy the way you dislike someone else? Self centered much? Honestly, Facebook needs a "You are a freakin moron" auto-comment for every status like this.

"It's Facebook official!!"
I'm sure your girlfriend/boyfriend feels great that your relationship wasn't meaningful to you until you changed your freakin Facebook status. That would make me want to rip your ears off and staple them to your chin. You are the epitome of immature. Go stand on your corner, you don't deserve a real relationship.

"I've got a boner."
Alright, I admit, I've never actually seen this status. But I believe it will arrive soon. It's like a rare pokemon. A rare and deeply disturbing status. I know my guy friends, I have faith one of them will post it.