Post number two. Mind two. (Shania)
ONCE AGAIN. WARNING. DONT TAKE US LITERAL. THIS IS A WAY TO VENT. WE ARE NOT KILLERS. Also, we are not trying to be downright mean to anyone. It's just meant to make you laugh. And if your offended. Please stay tuned. Because, there will be more coming that is less offensive. (Actually, it probably won't be any less offensive. Because we are offensive people. But we will try.) Sorry again! (:
As many of you may know, drivers ed is THE single most boring class on the ENTIRE planet. Even things like home ec. would be better (well probably as I don't actually know because our school is so small we don't have a home ec. class). At least in home ec. you get to make things, like food, and then eat them (again, still guessing). In drivers ed, all you do is sit there and listen to the teacher talk for THREE hours! You would think that you would be able to actually go out and drive a car, which wouldn't be so bad. But no, all you do is sit there and listen to the teacher talk about how to drive a car. It's like Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter except he never wears pink (although he does wear an exceptional amount of blue and gray). On top of all the listening and concentrating you are supposed to do, you have to sign up to drive OTHER times. We have to have a total of five hours driving with the instructor. Or six. I really need to start paying attention in class. Ok I promise I am done ranting now.
In our really suckish drivers ed class, there is a girl. She is the girl who flirts with all the guys and all the girls hate her. She isn't even that pretty, but the guys in our class aren't exactly Ryan Reynolds. Billie (Mind number one) and I usually spend most of the class making fun of her. Oh, she also says really annoying things all the time too. Usually really dumb annoying things.
Mind one taking over here (Billie!!!)
Mind two made excellent points. This teacher has the ability to stare directly at a student (me) who is in the process of verbally tearing another student into small bite sized pieces, observe as said student pegs other student in the face with a cheez-it. He doesn't say a word, he just watches. He rambles on for three hours, and really I don't think anyone other than our fantasmic government could make three hours worth of slide shows about "The importance of Transition Pegs" or "Why you should always drive with your lights on" or my personal favorite "How to fantasize about killing a person in over fifteen different ways instead of learning how to parallel park" (I made the last one up, the government isn't as cool as me, they would never have a slide that realistic.) (Mind one adding something here. The last one, while made up, is completely true. That is what Billie and I do during drivers ed. Sorry to interrupt.) While he drones on, and on, and on, and on for freakin eternity, there is a higher pitched, more girly, and more, dare i say?, annoying, that competes with his. As it is in all such cases, annoying wins. Let me rock your world with a brief history of moronic things that this said person has said.
"Eating six pieces of blueberry pie wont make me fat!! It'll give me energy for the meet tomorrow!!"
Alright, anyone in their right mind, that has ever run farther than the ten steps from the couch to the microwave to stop the beeping, would realize that SIX PIECES OF PIE ISN'T REALLY HEALTHY. EVER. I don't care if your going to be killed in a holocaust the next day, you don't eat six pieces of pie, much less blueberry pie. Maybe if this was homemade pie it would be understandable. But no. It's pie from our local Cough and Vomit Cafe, (Sadly, also a lie, our cafe isn't that aptly named, but I wouldn't want to hurt feelings), which is over 3000% sugar, and like .0000001% frozen blueberry chunks. I almost puked on her shoes when I watched her eat those six pieces of pie, in under five minutes. (Mind two. I think she wears like spanx or something so she doesn't look fat. Also, Mind One and I were sincerely looking forward to her puking all over her own shoes and turning them blue. Sadly, this never happened. Which is why I think she is secretly fat and wears spanx.)
"I really want to bring a futon to this room with me every Monday, it'd be so great!!"
My response to this was "Yeah, cause that's what makes the school staff happy, students bringing in random pieces of furniture." Seriously, shut your mouth. I'm trying to pretend to learn here.
These are two very small, very brief snapshots into the hell that is Drivers ed. I'm sure more will follow. I'm getting pissed off all over again just thinking about it.
There is only a few things that make this class bearable. As Mind two mentioned, there are no Calvin Kline models in our class, yet there are a set of twins. Now these twins, that I shall call Smart twin and Dumb twin, are fairly attractive. Dumb twin has been sucked into the black hole that is hoe-bags life. Smart twin, pegged her in the face with a pen the first night. Hence, Dumb twin and Smart twin. Smart twin is definitely more attractive, and Mind one may just pounce on that.
The second bearable thing is the presence of Mind one's best frined. I'll post later explaining the whole frined thing, yes it is an intentional typo, and there is a decent story behind it.
Also, the occasional videos shown by Mr. Blue and Grey have 80's rock music as the background, and Mind one rocks out as people are smeared across the pavement. Mind one is a twisted person....
Look forward to more posts!!! Two minds, one blog. ;)
P.S. If you recognized the reference above, ten points!!! Also, go wash your mind out. Sicko.
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