Mornings....SUCK!!!

Mind one here.

My dad has this saying. "Nothing good ever happens after ten o'clock at night." Well. I'm changing this saying to "Nothing good ever happens before ten o'clock in the morning." I hate mornings, with a dirty burning passion. It's seven fifteen right now, and I'm sitting here, struck by a sudden urge to blog, but my mind is screaming at me. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? GO BACK TO SLEEP. RIGHT. NOW. WHO CARES IF YOU MISS CHEMISTRY!!! NO ONE!!!" Shut up mind. Stop whining, neither of us want to be awake right now, but I'm not throwing a temper tantrum.
Update:
Mother of god. My foot hurts!!!!! It is now 9:33 a.m. So in my world everything should get better in about half an hour. Let me run through the events of this morning.
7:00 Wake up, roll pathetically out of bed and stumble to the kitchen to make coffee and check on my babies (blog and facebook).
7:10 Do a happy dance about over sixty views on the blog. Yes, I'm easily excited. Go to bathroom and turn straightener on so it'll warm up.
7:15 Start new blog post about how much mornings suck (In a way I jinxed myself right here.) Then log out of everything and head back to my bedroom to find clothes.
7:25 Holy hell. Right about here is when I stepped, directly onto the prongs of an electric plug laying on my bedroom floor. And when I say stepped on, I don't mean "Oh ow, that rather hurt, didn't break the skin though, carry on!" I mean "@#%#%@#$%#$!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! I JUST DROVE A HALF AN INCH OF METAL INTO THE BALL OF MY FOOT!!!!" I had to sit on my bed and pull this stupid plug out of my foot. I'm so proud of myself, I didn't cry, but I did shake like a leaf. And I managed to only get two drops of blood on the shag carpet so. Yay me!!
7:27 Made it to the bathroom and by now my foot has realized it has been stabbed. It's gushing blood all over the place, with every beat of my heart, blood spurts out of the bottom of my foot. I grab a box of band-aids and sit on the counter.
7:30 I lost three minutes here somewhere, maybe I blacked out, I don't know but I felt like my life was in danger...At this moment I've only left a little trail of blood drops around the bathroom floor, now that I'm sitting still, the blood flood hits overdrive. In the time it takes me to pick up my phone and call Step-Boyfriend for help, a pool of blood roughly the size of an orange has dripped to the floor.
Conversation with Step-Boyfriend:
S.B:"hahh whah? yhollo?" (He doesn't speak fluent English in the mornings)
Me:"Uhh...I need help."
S.B.: "Wait, what? Why do you need help?" (I think my urgent tone reached him here, he started to put his words together quite well)
Me:"I'm bleeding profusely from the foot. I need a band-aid. A big one." (I'm staying remarkably calm right now, as I watch my life's blood drip to the floor, by now a puddle has formed that vaguely resembles Lake Erie.)
S.B:"Your....What? Hang on, where are you?" (It's not that complicated Step-Boyfriend, just come into the bathroom and get me a band-aid. The bottom of the foot is an awkward angle to try and preform medical miracles on oneself.)
Me:"Bathroom, don't slip on the blood"

That phrase right there "Don't slip on the blood" seemed to finally reach him, he came barrelling out of his room like someone had lite his boxers on fire. Which wasn't very fast at all, seeings how his crippled knee's wont let him sprint, but I appreciated the hustle. I was staring morosely at the blood puddle when he found me. (To my traumatized eyes it was starting to look like scooby-doo. I'm a talented bleeder.) From this point on there was a quick succession of band-aid., clean up the blood, wait for mom to get home, band-aid ripped brutally off. My mom decides to pour hydrogen peroxide on my gaping wound. Step-Boyfriend even said it looked like a bullet wound instead of an innocent plug stab...riiight. I felt like she had stabbed my poor bleeding foot with a red hot fire poker dipped in hydrochloric acid for shits and giggles. I writhed in agony on the floor while she and Step-Boyfriend made some very un-necessary weenie jokes.
Me: *writhes in agony*
S.B:"Don't be such a pussy!!"
Mom:*Sadistic giggling*
Needless to say, my morning started off, wonderfully. Also needless to say the foot I got stabbed in? My left foot, which is also the foot that has a huuuugggeeee blister on the heel, and a slightly smaller blister on the bottom of my foot (How did that even get there??) Also this is the knee I've spent over three weeks in physical therapy for. I've got a track meet tomorrow, and my left leg feels like its been through a war.

Mind one out. (I also just got shanked. Thanks Johnny)

Mind Two here.

I am actually a morning person. Most mornings are great. I am like one of those people who feels like they could run a marathon and then swim the English Channel. (There is one problem with this. I hate running. Like passionately. Like if I had a time machine I would go back and kill the person who invented running for fun and kill anyone else who had the idea.) Only one thing. I hate school mornings. Almost more than I hate running. THEY SUCK! Usually the only way I can get through them is by consuming large amounts of coffee. Highly caffeinated coffee. For example, this morning I had 2 cups of regular coffee and 3 shots of espresso. (Ok fine. This is actually semi-normal for me. Maybe not the three espresso shots. But I do drink an insane amount of coffee. Usually like 5 cups of regular coffee. I am like 90% water, 10% caffeine, all the time. It's great. If you haven't tried coffee, DO IT NOW. Seriously, it's better than alcohol. Alcohol makes you feel all tired and sad and coffee makes you feel like the freaking Energizer bunny.) It is now 5th period and all I feel like doing is going home and going to bed. Stupid school. I have sold my soul to getting grades and now it is biting me in the butt. Sure, it will pay off someday, like when I am a billionare and have my dream job and a beautiful house with a huge spiral staircase in the middle of it. But as for now, it sucks. Knowing that I have to keep doing it for at least 6 more years is killing me you guys. Every year, I have to up my caffeine content by just a little bit to make up for the lack of sleep that seems to be growing. Seriously, someday I am going to just go freaking nuts from all this energy.

This post was supposed to be about morning and now it is all about the wonderful, incredible, drink that is like drinking a concentrated rainbow that we call coffee. See what it does to me?