Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Sharon Osbourn is a lesbian

Mind Two:

So I was watching America's Got Talent last night and all of a sudden these GORGEOUS guys came on. They were all ripped and taking their clothes off and I was drooling just a little bit. It was so great. Their dance was a little lame, but seriously, they were great. And then the lovely judges started voting. And the first dude said yes. And the second dude said no. And it was all up to Sharon. And guess what she said. NO. Not even considering it, just no. And that hit me like a slap in the face. So I came up with a theory. Sharon Osbourn is a lesbian.

How could she have passed on those guys?? They were McStuds! Like freaking gorgeous models. Like I'm pretty sure every straight girl in America and other foreign countries that get that channel (do foreign countries get our TV channels?) cried their eyes out. And a dew of them had to have awkward conversations with their hubbies why they were crying. Way to go Sharon. (Maybe that last part was a little exaggerated). But seriously, everything they lacked in talent, they made up for in looks. So why she would pass on that, I have absolutely no idea.

Mind one.

I saw this episode!! She's insane!! They were in fact, very attractive. Maybe she's just mad cause Ozzy is old, and ugly, and probably never had a six pack. Or a one pack for that matter. He seems like a keg type. But still, she shouldn't take out her frustrations at her husbands lack of sexiness on those boys. Men. Men-children. Whatever they were. They are not to blame for Ozzy's complete lack of appeal. I think that she should have her judging rights revoked

Sharon Osbourn is a certified lesbian in my world now. How could you do that to us Sharon? How? Are you so angry at the world that you just reject every girl and woman in America's wishes? I hate you. One, because you did this...this...horrific thing. Two, you can dye your hair a funky red color and it doesn't ever fade, I dye mine a normal red and it fades like the smile on a Jew's face in Auschwitz. Sorry. That was racist. It fades like the snow in July. That makes less sense, but its less offensive. Unless your a penguin. I can never win. I'll just give up...

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