Here I go again, writing a post that mirrors a Hyperbole and a Half post. (Those words are blue for reason...click it to read the post that inspired this one.) That post, is completely true. Dogs are idiots. Man's best friend they may be, and I love them to death, but seriously. I'll explain.
Out at my dads house live two very different dogs. The only legitimate connection between these two dogs that I can find, is that they are black. The first dog, is part dinosaur. Alright, not really, but this dog is massive. Like, paws the size of dinner plates, Dogzilla. She has this think fluffy fur that sticks up everywhere and makes her look like a small bear cub. She is also the laziest dog I have ever come into contact with. If she's thirsty instead of standing up to walk the five steps to her water bowl, she will roll, flop and do the dog version of an army crawl to get to it. It takes twice as long, and somewhere around four times as much energy but hey! she didn't have to stand up so Dogzilla wins!!
In any case, obviously Dogzilla isn't completely scary, seeings how the energy it would take her to maul you greatly exceeds that of the energy required to stand up for a drink of water, so I feel safe.
Dog number two.
The second dog is small, sleek haired and altogether more..well..Dog-like than Dogzilla. However, second dog is wired. Everything that passes infront of him is of monumental importance. He approaches life like a two year old strung out on cocaine and pixie sticks. Sticks, rocks, dirt, Dogzilla, horses, everything, large or small shorts his brain out and sends him into a fit of ecstasy. Because of his constant state of joy, he bounces everywhere. Instead of taking normal dog steps, he bounces on all four paws, which would be acceptable if he was ten pound ankle biter. Second dog how ever is a black lab, and that makes his bouncing look very odd. Also, this euphoric state of mind causes him to stare at things with huge eyes.
Mind Two:
Not only are we a great blogging team, we have MATCHING DOGS!!!! I have a dog who is fat and lazy and black and likes to bite people!!! I also agree that your dog drawings are fantastic. Now for a description of my dogs.
House Dog
Annoying as hell, little house dog that we keep because my mom likes her. She also does this weird little circle spinny thing when she walks like she wants to chase her tail but also wants to walk in a straight line. It ends up looking like she has Down Syndrome.
Retarded Dog
This would be my brothers dog. He is kind of idiot
The Best Dog In The Whole Freakin' World!!
Yes. This is my dog. She is so smart and beautiful and great. That's all I really have to say about her. Oh wait, she's trained!
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