I have a friend, who used to go to school with me, but sadly now lives in Idaho. (Yes. Boo to boise state. Boo indeed.) Her name, is troll. Not literally, but for all intents and purposes, yes, troll. Troll has a couple of dogs, named Chewwie, and Jackson. Now I spend weeks at a time over at Troll's house, and honestly I've been adopted into the troll family, its great. Being around them brings out the free spirit in me, and causes any sort of brain/mouth filter I have, which isn't much, to disappear completely.
Anyways, one day I was standing in the kitchen making Troll breakfast. Troll is minorly retarded in the cooking area, and can really only make ceral, top ramen, cold sandwiches, and microwave popcorn. So I was cooking her bacon, and her boyfriend was making french toast, we're a great team. Her dogs were running around like crazy, but they always do that. All of the sudden, in the middle of flipping the bacon. I feel this...sensation.
Her dog. Has totally shoved its nose up my crotch. Like, up my shorts and into the danger zone. It was. Aweful.
I promptly threw the spatula across the kitchen, nailed Mr. Troll in the face with a flying fist, and leaped across the room screaming. "YOU DOG JUST STUCK HIS NOSE IN MY LADY BITS!!!"
Why I said lady bits, I'm not even sure. It's something that I made up on the spot, and it just busted out of my mouth. I was scared, like completely terrified. I didn't know what happened, but from now on, I use lady bits all the time. As does troll.
Mind Two:
I remember troll!! (That is Mind One's name for her and I feel weird calling her that so from now on she will just be 'her') I went to school with her for a short period of time and unlike Mind One, we are not very close but I still think she is hilarious. Funny story time!
When we went to school together in 8th grade, I think. I, being the nerd that I am, was in this club called academic bowl. You basically go to all these schools and answer a lot of questions and whoever answers the most right gets a trophy!! (The trophy is alright and you get to add stuff to it every time). Well, when her moved here, she did not join academic bowl but my friends and I told her all about it. After hearing what it was about, she took to calling it nerd bowl. She even signed my year book "have fun in nerd bowl" or something along those lines.
Another classic 'her' story. At the end of 8th grade, instead of having a graduation, we got to go ice skating. It was really fun. We were playing tag, and 'her' was skating away. Well, she turned to look over her shoulder and didn't see the wall coming up. She smacked into the glass and slid down it. It was like a scene from a movie, it was perfect. It was also really funny so everyone started laughing really hard.
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