Mind Two:
Remember how in the last post that made no sense ("the devil dives in dark dim doorways") there was a lot of really obvious statements. Like how Mind Two is almost always getting abused by something? I shall now prove that point if you didn't already believe it.
Soooo, I was home alone (beginning of a horror movie and yes, this post is horror movie quality) because the rest of my family went up to help my grandma out. And guess what was on TV??? JAWS!!!! Which is a GREAT movie. Watch it as soon as you get done reading this post. Seriously. Unlessss you happen to live by the ocean. Then stay very far away from it. (Mind one. Or just don't make the giant sharks angry.)
Anyway, after jaws was over, guess what else was playing on cable??? WRONG TURN 2!!!! Which is a VERY scary movie. Very. And I was home alone. And as I was watching How I Met Your Mother to try and recover from the scaryness, someone pulls in the driveway. And stupid me thinks it's just my parents.
Well it wasn't. When I went to look out the front window, all I saw was a dust rolling across the driveway. No sweat, I thought, they had the horse trailer on and already parked so I all I saw was the dust. And I went back to watching How I Met Your Mother.
About half an hour later, after my show was over, I think to myself, "Where are my parents?"
I go outside to look around and I don't see them anywhere. And then it occurs to me that the pickup isn't here. And neither is the horse trailer. And also there is a strange red pickup parked behind one of our other vehicles. And then I start thinking "I know this pickup. It belongs to my dad's friend. But why is he here when my dad isn't?" (Mind one again. This is where he swings the chainsaw at your face and/or pops out saying "Hello little girl, are you lost?". When obviously you are NOT lost, seeings how thats where you live and all. The appropriate response here would be to shoot him, just like the skunk we talked about earlier, and say something snappy like "Hello creepy old man, are you a rapist?")
But, much to Mind One's disappointment, no one came out. And, no one was actually at my house. I live on 72 acres of land and I searched every single inch of my property and THERE. WAS. NO. ONE. Anywhere. So now, I was really creeped out. This was my thought process:
Ohmigod someone is stalking me and following me around.
Ohmigod there is a creepy clown somewhere who wants to kill me. (The creepiest thing about clowns? Their smile. It's that "this should look nice but it actually means I'm going to kill you" smile.)
Ohmigod there is a murderer somewhere who wants to kill me.
Why are all these fantasies involving someone killing me? Maybe my dad's friend really did just want to come visit.
Screw that. I am going to get murdered with a shovel (after finding a shovel in the back of the creepy truck that no one was in) by an evil clown.
I should probably call my parents and tell them I love them before I get murdered.
Are you supposed to shave your legs before your funeral if you die young? Cause old people don't worry about that but what about young girls? My legs are really hairy, I should go shave just in case.
Screw that too. I am not shaving my legs. If the murderer has a problem with them, then he can do it.
And then the phone rang. And scared me half to death because it was in the kitchen and I couldn't figure out what that noise was. But it was just my brother calling to see if I would do the chores.
Brother: Dad wants to do the chores.
Me: Ok. Was dad's friend supposed to come by?
Brother: No.
Me: Well his truck is here.
Brother: Which one?
Me: The red one. The one his hired hand drives around.
Brother: Oh. Well maybe his hired hand is there doing something.
And this is when the thought occurred to me that I had been looking for the WRONG PERSON. Duh. And then I realized that was ridiculous I was in the middle of nowhere, not a shopping mall. And then I started panicking again.
So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots. Into his head. Just kidding. That's a quote from a movie (Chicago). (Mind one approves of this movie quote.)
What I did do was grab the big, heavy, wood bat from my brothers room and lay down on the with it next to me, praying that I would live another day and no one was going to jump out of the closet.
After awhile, I got an idea. Text the owner of the mysterious pickup and ask where he is! Actually, text his wife cause she will know. And I did. And I got a phone call. Where all I heard was laughing. A lot of laughing. Which reminded me of a scary movie where she gets all these weird phone calls then the creepy guy shows up. (When a Stranger Calls). (Mind one. He was there the whole time. Did you even watch the movie??) But the number was the number I texted earlier. Finally she starts talking. My dad's friend got a flat tire and then, thinking no one was home, didn't bother to knock on the door. But I was home. He just had his wife come get him and didn't bother to tell me that he was there. (That part right there is why it's like the movie, Mind One.) And I ended up being totally freaked out. And everyone else in the world thinks it's just hilarious. Well it was really scary!! And now I am scaring myself talking about so Mind Two is done. With this post.
Mind one.
I think this is hilarious as well. Now my turn for a horror story.
Earlier in this summer, I was spending time with my friend in Nampa, but when I got dropped off no one was home. In all honesty I thought someone was home, and this is why.
1. The garage door was open, and there was in fact a car parked in it.
2. The door was unlocked.
3. The dogs didn't try to murder me when I walked in.
My friend (the troll mentioned in many earlier posts), was at a dance camp, so I knew not to expect her. I was however expecting SOMEONE. Troll lives with six other people, so odds are, that house is never empty. I began roaming around the house trying to find someone and tell them I was there, so I didn't scare the crap out of them. This bites me in the ass later. After the third time I had checked every room in the house and circled the yard, I had to accept that I was alone. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, if this wasn't like...the house of the devil. (Who was not diving in dim dark doorways, I checked.) Eventually I found out where everyone was.
1. Sir Rod and Lady cookie were at the store, and took the Durango, and left the car. (Problem number one.)
2. Step-Brother 1(Brandon) was at his fathers house. (Normally he just hides in his room, so I was counting on him being in there. Problem number two.)
3. Step-Brother 2 (Ethan)was...actually I can't remember where he was. Somewhere that wasn't there. He's small and easy to miss.
4. Sister 1 (Kylie) was at work, I didn't know this, but I just saw her truck was gone and went with it.
5. Sister 2 (Mia) was at her moms, I knew this, so no surprises.
So after running around their house, many many times, I finally realized, I was there alone. Cue epic paranoia, now I'm stealth creeping through their house praying that someone would come home and I could be like. "Oh hey! I just got here, wierd that no one was home, but welcome back!!" And that would be less wierd. But noooooooo, no one came home for a solid fifteen minutes. Now I feel like the biggest creep in the world, and start trying to call everyone. Troll doesn't answer, thats okay, she's at camp, understandable. Stepbrother 1 doesn't answer, less okay, I obviously need his help. Sir Rodney doesn't answer, (I don't know why I called him third.), and it goes to voicemail, but...it's not his voice, or his name thats said. That creeped me out hardcore. I had one number wrong, but maybe I'm in the wrong house too. Maybe that's why no one is home. (Don't ask why my mind made that leap, it just did.) Now I was out of numbers, and a little panicked. I felt like a freak and a half chillin in their house when they didn't know I was there. So I went and sat out in the garage, in like, 98 degree heat, and waited. That whole phone cluster took about ten minutes, so I'd been there alone, roughly half an hour. (I did try calling my dad, but he didn't answer cause he was driving, smart daddy.) I couldn't get any of my nampa friends to answer, and I'm really freaking out. What if they never come home, what if I stuck here forever in the garage cause I'm too wierded out to go inside? Then, inspiration hits, Mexi!!!!! Step brother 1 has a friend also named Brandon, which causes everyone pain when trying to talk to them or about them, which lead to the friend being called Mexi. (Obviously he's half Mexican. It's not my racist joke this time.) I call him, hoping, praying, that he will have Lady Cookie's number, being the dependable little Mexi he is. But no, HE DOESN'T ANSWER. At this point I send him a rather strongly worded text message explaining my situation and how everyone and their freaking dog was ignoring my calls. Being the nice kid he is, he laughs at me and finally I get her number. Victory. Of course when I call her, she yells at me. For sitting outside, and not making myself at home. Well excuuuuuse me. Next time I'll talk over your house and invite the neighbors as well!!!!
These two stories are the perfect example of why people should COMMUNICATE.
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