All Signs Point To Wonder Woman

Mind Two:

Mind Two has become Wonder Woman and I even have my own water boy.

(Mind one has a picture for this post.)

So my brother is on the all-star baseball team and we had to go all the way to La Grande for his tournament. It was a really long drive and then there was a bunch of thunder and lightning, but there was one good thing that came out of it. I discovered that I am Wonder Woman.
Mind One and I were texting about this and the conversation went like this:

M1:Party at the Sage at 7!
M1: COME SAVE ME!
M2:Why?
M1: Cause I miss my mind:)
M2: Awww I miss my mind too:) but wonderwoman can't save you tonight, she is in La Grande for her brothers baseball tournament:(
M1: DAMNNATION:(
M1: Why do you call yourself wonderwoman?
M2: Umm cause i should be wonderwoman but the people who gave out superpowers forgot mine and also i think i would look fantastic in the wonderwoman outfit.

Just to clarify, the old wonderwoman outfit, not the new one.

 This.                  Not This.

Yes, that should be me. Anyway, there were more texts after that but they may not be totally appropriate and I don't want to offend anyone so I won't put them on here.

While I was texting Mind One, I happened to be at a Chinese restaurant. I opened my fortune cookie and guess what it said?
"You are the master of every situation"
I kid you not. That is exactly what it said.

I have this great habit where I save all the really good fortunes that I get at Chinese restaurants. I was putting this one in my wallet and found another fortune and guess what it said?

"You love the spotlight, become an entertainer"
No way!! Let me piece this together for you.

Wonder woman fights crime and is basically amazing, so she is the master of every situation.
Wonder woman is in the spotlight ALL THE TIME. So obviously, she loves it.

I got those fortune cookies!! They are telling me that I am wonder woman.

And as for the water boy, I was texting my friend and I told him my wonder woman story and he said you aren't pretty enough to be wonder woman.

M2:Well you aren't cool enough to be spiderman.
Friend: I don't want to be spiderman, I am already superman.
M2: Umm no. Not even close.
Friend: I am closer to being superman than you are to being wonderwoman.
M2: Umm no. Maybe you could be like wonderwomans water boy or something but not superman.
Friend: I would rather be the real superwomans water boy than yours.

And then the rest was just me saying I was wonderwoman, not superwoman and him calling me a bunch of names.

So my friends may not be supportive of my double identity, but my readers should since I clearly explained it to them.

Mind one.

I am batman. Mind two is my robin. That is all. (Mind Two: I find this offensive. Why do I have to be robin?)

We don't look like this though. (Maybe just in PE)

More like this!!!! (Mind one.)

And this!! (Mind two.)

Boybands Were Better In The 90's

Mind Two:

I came across this website that had reasons why bands made entirely of boys were better in the 90's. Let me give you some of there examples.

1. They were competitive.


2.They were athletic.


3. They were great with cheetahs.


4. They weren't afraid to segregate uglier members.


5. They had awesome hairstyles, like Justin Timberlake's ramen noodle hair.


6. Or Chris Kirkpatrick's pineapple hair.


7. They had members that looked like Jesus.


8. They liked to imitate Tinker Bell.



9. They were pimps, but made sure they still included family.


If you want to see more of these and some of the actual captions go to http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/reasons-why-90s-boy-bands-were-the-best-boy-bands.

Now, Mind Two will show you more hilarious pictures of the 21st century boybands. Yay!!

1. They think they look sexy while actually looking gay.


(Mind one wants to point out the sexy set of abs to the right...)
 (Mind Two would like to point out that no matter how gay, abs are always sexy. And also sexy abs guy has half of his boxers hanging out. That trend originally started in prisons, where it meant you were available to other men. So gay, but nice abs.)

2. They think they are being funny while dressed in...jogging suits??

3. They wear suits to look older.



4. They wear real suits to try to appear less gay. (Heads up guys, Neil Patrick Harris wears a suit.)


5. They dress up like superheroes to...I have no idea on this one.

6. They appear with sparkly lights and try to copy Flynn Rider's smolder. FAIL!


(Mind one...You broke my smolder!!!)
7. They just dress weird and hope that they can pull it off.


And that is all Mind Two has. Now Mind One will make some comment about how hilarious I am and she laughed until she peed and then add on. Mind One...

Mind one.
I did snicker once or twice but even Mind Two has to admit that some of the boy singers from today are down right attractive. (Mind Two: Yes they are but no one could ever pull off Justin Timberlakes ramen noodle hair.)

Such as.
Adam Levine

Alright. That's all I have for now. Lets just say he's attractive enough to make up for everyone else's utter retardation.

Mind Two vs Animals! Part Two

Mind Two:

I think I have told you guys about my job before...at least a little. Well, I work at a coffee shop and I have to get up even before the sun to make it work on time. Now that it is summer, the sun is just coming up when I leave. The other morning, I jumped in my car and took off down the driveway, hauling ass because I was a little late and about halfway down the driveway, I see this black and white squirrel thing with a really bushy tail. At first, I was all like, "Awwww look at the cute little squirrel!!" And then I got closer and was all like "Holy Shit! That's a skunk!!" I slammed on the brakes and came to a screeching halt halfway down my driveway. I still wasn't very close to the skunk and it was just ambling along the left side of the driveway. I started flashing my lights at it to get it move because I happened to know that's it home was in the pipe DIRECTLY across from it, on the other side of the driveway. It starts moving as slowly across the road as it possibly could, taking it's sweet time while I was busy being late for work. So I kept flashing and thankfully it kept walking. Now the weeds around the pipe where this little skunk lives are really tall. So I, panicking at this point, come up with a plan. If the skunk will just walk a few more feet, it will be in the weeds and on its way home and won't even see my car go past and then I will still not be totally and completely late. So it made it into the weeds and I counted to 5 and then slammed the car into 1st gear. I hit the gas and that freaking skunk gassed me. My plan failed. Utterly and completely. Now I am depressed because my car smells like a skunk. And this hot weather is not helping matters at all.

Mind One, your turn. I am going to wash my car.

Mind one here.

I'd just like to point out that if you were a badass like me, and carried guns in your car. THIS WOULDN'T OF HAPPENED. Because, one you could of shot his happy little ass while at a safe distance, and two you could of shot his happy little ass at a previous date, thus avoiding this whole situation. (Also, you could murder the bird outside your window.) (Mind Two here. I would like to point out that a gun would not have solved my problem in this situation. See, he still would have smelled. But shooting him would have made me feel a lot better. Also, I am a badass like you.) Obviously, as I have said before, violence solves everything. EVERYTHING!!!!  Can't make your TV remote work? Violently shove some new batteries in it!!   Can't seem to make your crush like you? Violently give them some roses, bitches love roses.   Can't beat that stupid video game? Violently hit some shit! With your sword, or gun, or whatever you happen to be using as a weapon. (Except the so called "massager" on the Dead Rising games.) Don't have time for coffee in the mornings? Violently mug some passerby for their Starbucks!!!  (Mind two here. If you steal some guys coffee, make sure he looks respectable and is wearing a suit or something nice so you don't get herpes.) Quite literally everything can be solved by violence, and yet, not all things with kindness. Getting mugged? Ask him nicely to stop!!! NO!!!! See a rape? Give the rapist a condom!! Also, NO!!! Violence would of solved those two situations, but you had to be a nice person, now your broke and a rapist just shoved a condom down your throat. Congratulations. Seriously. You're an idiot. Mind one out. Go buy some weapons. Or doughnuts, those are always nice too. (Just remember, doughnuts won't save you in a zombie apocalypse.)

Thank you Australia!!!

Mind one.
Normally I get pissed when other countries copy America's shit, but in this one case, I shall forgive it. Australia's got talent, discovered what is possibly the most attractive boy I've ever seen. I very muchly want to savagely attack him. And he sings like an angel. His name is Bobi Andonov, and he is the best thing to happen to Australia since Quigly down under. Just...LOOK AT HIM.

Troll wants to feature in the blog. (Fair warning, troll has the mouth of a drunk truck driver watching porn)

Troll!!!

It is my time to shine. AHHAHAHAHAH. Well, now that I have this chance to say whatever the hell my little trollish ass desires.......im not exactly sure what I should say. This Bobi character is pretty much the sexiest thing since sliced bread. Which isn't exactly very sexy. But he's fine. you get the point. Have you heard his voice? it sounds like Mariah Carrey had sex with Adele and had a sexy, angelic voiced baby! And that baby had sex with brad paisley, who then had a threesome with Brantley Gilbert and Carrie Underwood. Yes. HE'S THAT GOOD. When he jizz's it probably slides out in a magical pool, and that pool sings the national anthem! His babies will probably pop out of whatever woman is lucky enough to birth his sexy babies, and sing us a new hit single that will make dozens of teenage girls to think naughty thoughts and charge at his man sword in a rampage of teenage hormones. He's hot. Troll, over and out.

Mind one

Well, that was faintly disturbing, I can literally smell the troll in heat. And trust me, a troll in heat is not a pleasing scent. It smells like bath and body works sweet pea, cooking hamburger, and dr. pepper. Picture that if you can. Well, scent picture...whatever. Seriously though. Look this boy up, or troll will find you, and rape your couch.

Mind two, your turn!! Good luck following that.

Mind Two:

Ok, America is great and all but everybody knows that Australia has the hottest guys. Ever. Which is why I am going to vacation there for many many days. 

Mind One, I hate to rain on your parade, but this picture makes him look a little...gay. And like a creeper. And why are his eyes closed??

(Because he is sexy, and shirtless, and just down right attractive, so he may pose gay all he pleases.)

Ok, I am done dissing him. I did look him up because I happen to like my couch very much and would rather it not have to go through troll raping it, and he does sing really good. But, because I don't find him near as attractive as you do, I shall now call him Boobi. Which is what I read when I first saw his name.

Ok I lied. I am not done dissing on him. He looks like he is 12. Maybe 13, but that's it.

(HE IS SEVENTEEN!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S LEGAL! ITS NOT RAPE!!!) 

So really, Mind One?? You chose a gay 12 year old for the most attractive boy you have ever seen?

Portland, its freakin wierd

Mind one. (Warning, I'm on a rage and this will likely be the longest post EVER)

Mind one has gone on a road trip, and she hates it.

Midget showers, "rearranging" furniture, naked people in Costco, naked for breakfast, pizza hut tango, and hospital twitches. Doesn't this sound amazing? It's fan-freakin-tastic. This mind, has gone over the edge. And Mr. Delivery boy is seriously late, doesn't he know that there is a starving teenager here? Doesn't he know that I have no problem with snapping him into teeny tiny pieces if he does not knock on this hotel door right the eff now!!!!

Anyways, story time, lets start with the midget showers. Mind one is about 5'9'', which means that I am faced with "Tall people problems". Such as you know, finding pants long enough for my legs, hitting my head on EVERYTHING, and spending the first fifteen years of my life looking down on almost every other person my age. (Thankfully this year I stopped growing and everyone else kept on moving, now I look up to a few, and most in the eye.) Never once in my life did I think however that my height would interfere with my showering. I could understand it if I was like, seven feet tall, but I'm not.
The first hotel room I spent the night in, didn't seem so bad. Sure there were plenty of bushes next to the ground floor windows for rapists and Jason to hide in but, I was on the fourth floor. Suckers. However, when I stepped into the elevator with my half sister and my dad, I felt a cold sweat break out all over my body. I hate elevators, they are tiny death trap cages, and even the most smoothly running elevator turns me into a nervous wreck. This one lurched off the first floor with a dying screech and shuddered its way towards the second floor. I was backed into a corner holding onto my suitcase for dear life and wondering "Why didn't I just take the effing stairs...". The elevator slowly made its way up toward the fourth floor with many creaks and groans, and excessive amounts of swaying back and forth. Aren't elevator shafts supposed to be fitted to the size of the elevator car? Is there really supposed to be that much wiggle room? By the time it had lifted its sorry carcase to the fourth floor, I would of cheerfully trampled an old lady to get out of that miserable death trap. We step out into what looks like a scene from a slasher movie. The hallway is dimly lit, there is a weird looking plant every three feet, and it smells like bleach and hookers. (In case you're wondering Hookers smell like cotton-candy perfume from K-mart and sweat.) (Mind Two jumping in here. I am very glad you explained what hookers smell like otherwise I would have had to Google it and that would have been awkward. Also, I was wondering how you knew what a hooker smelled like but then I read that and that is the first thing that would have popped into my mind if I smelled sweat and cheap perfume.) The door to my hotel room felt like it had a dead body behind it and it literally took all of my weight to open the stupid thing, and as soon as I was inside it slammed shut with a boom that a jail door would be jealous of. (Mind Two again. Actually, the good thing about having a huge heavy room door like that is that it makes it harder for the rapists to get in. But if they do get in, your probably screwed because of the massive door.)
Consider this whole paragraph a massive strike one.
Then we get into the actual hotel room. Sweet. Zeus.
It smells like sweat, and chocolate syrup, purely gross. Sleeping in there made me feel nasty, and I felt the need to either shower or peel my skin off and roll in flour. (horrible mental image there.) I gather up my bathroom essentials, such as my razor, tooth brush, shampoo and conditioner, body wash, and soap. Most people use the shampoo, conditioner and soap provided by the hotel but not me. I don't want the herps. Getting naked in a foreign bathroom always gives me "the weirds", there might be a midget man in the exhaust fan watching... I noticed that this shower was built for people around 5'3" and shorter. The freakin shower head hit my chin. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get shampoo out of your hair when your doing what appears to be a combination of twister and the limbo??? Dear hotels, TALL PEOPLE NEED TO SHOWER TOO!!!!!!!! Jerks. I spent the rest of my shower sitting in the tub like a hobo. Getting out of the shower I looked up and happened to notice a sticker on the bathroom door. It was bright red and written in that font that's supposed to look old timey but all the Mexicans use it. "Ye Olde Spic." At least, that's how I refer to it. It had a rather ominous message. "Below Salvation", we're on the fourth floor and we are Below Salvation??? What the hell? Where do you even get a sticker like this? "Satanists R Us"? "Get your pentagram necklaces in Isle 3, and don't forget, with every purchase of $6.66 we include a free sticker of damnation!" 
Strike two for the portland trip. (I almost feel like I should stop here, cause this post is huge.)


...(I think I will.)

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

What the hell!!!

Mind one..

Why is there a random blank post on here?

Mind Two:

I was thinking the same thing...I figured it was you starting something and then forgetting what you were going to write

Mind one...

Screw it. I probably had an idea, lets just play this off. We'll talk about random things. It'll be like texting but...blog style.

Mind Two:
Sounds cool. Well since this is texting I am depressed because I just read the page views and it was 1260 aned im pretty sure it was the same number we had a few days ago:(

MindTwo:
Panick attack over. There are now 1293. I am happy again:) By the way, i found the about us page aaannnndddd figured out how to edit it!

Mind one:

I was also depressed, so I went and got abusive on facebook to make people read this. And I'm so proud of youuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

Mind Two:

Awww thanks!! And now, to show my gratitude, a picture for you.

Frined, sometimes typos are great...

Mind one.
I have a best frined. We have been best friends since I was three and she was two. Not counting middle school when she randomly hated me. But we wont talk about that. Anyways, last year she finally realized that I wasn't Satan, and decided we could be friends again. Smart move there. In any case, she invited me over to her house, to try and become friends again. First thing I say when I walk into her room. "Why do you have Hitler on your wall?" It wasn't Hitler, it was her dad, from when he was in the Army. He has a twisted sense of humor, kind of like mine, and shaved a Hitler-stache on his face. That was a less than great start to the friendship.

We got over the Nazi moment though, and quickly became tight friends again, and eventually best friends. Now I wanted to celebrate this friendships revival, so I took one of the pictures we had taken together, and edited it on facebook so it said "Best Friends" or so I thought.

Direct quote from Frined.
"Thats really sweet, but what the hell's a frined?"
Well. Awkward. I try to do something nice. And she turns into a grammar Nazi. >:/ Wow!! Thanks dude!!!

Now it's become an inside joke, and we get offended when the other slips up and uses friend. We are not friends. We are FRINEDS HEAR US ROAR. And by roar I mean make creepy old people noises and scream "DRY BONES NO!!!!" at the top of our teenage lungs.

Seriously, we shouldn't be allowed to be left alone, do you have any idea the shennagians we get into? (You have no idea the fit spell check had over this post.)

Side note. Sorry its been so long since we posted. Mind one's been roaming around, and hasn't had steady access to a computer. Anyways. Expect a flood of posts over the next couple days!!! Mind one out. Biiiiitches!