Teen Code

Mind one.
For those of you who don't know, there is a series on MTV called Guy Code and its literally just a bunch of dudes sitting around talking about the do's and don't's of being a man. Now there is a Girl Code and surprise surprise, its a bunch of girls sitting around talking about the do's and don't's of being a lady. But, a whole lot of the "rules" really only apply to older teens and the twenty somethings. So here my friends is a teen code, just for you. From the minds, and maybe a few guest stars.

Mind one's code.
#1. Never, and I repeat never, date someone whom your friend has dated. First off, it really is like kissing that friend. Secondly, no matter how cool with it they say they are, they are not cool with it. They are anything but cool with it.
#2. Lets talk about fashion eh? Welcome to America! (Unless you are a foreign reader, then so sorry.) People really can dress any way they want. No matter how stupid you think someone looks, you look just as stupid to them. Side note, ladies, don't tell your boyfriend how to dress, he is your man, not your barbie.
#3. A car is a car. No matter how crappy, and believe me, I know a crappy car. It's still a mode of transportation. You'll notice that the only people that complain about the quality of a car, is someone who doesn't have one. Don't be that guy. Or girl. Just. Don't.
#4. Dating. Today's society has relaxed about this. People are dating younger and younger, but I think that we probably shouldn't refer to two thirteen year olds sharing popcorn at a middle school basketball game as "dating". And we also shouldn't refer to a twenty year old sharing the sheets with a fifteen year old as anything other than jail-time.
#5. Music. Yes, I know. You really like that new rap song, and that's cool. I'll be in the background with Nirvana in my headphones. WE ALL LISTEN TO DIFFERENT THINGS. Give different genres a chance. You never know when you might find something you like. Don't be the hipster. Don't be the mainstream fag. Just listen to whatever works for you.
#6. Best friends. Everyone has theirs. Some people have two. I have two. Some people have like, ten. It's been my experience that the more people you call best friend, the more the quality of these friends goes downhill. I've got mind two and the troll. We can all hang out together, and I can hang out with each of them separately. Don't try to come between best friends. That is the fastest way to piss some one the hell off. You'll either end up with both of them hating you, or with one as your friend and discovering that you two really don't work that well as friends. Let them be. Find your own friend before you start trying to steal others.
#7. Parties. Yes, they happen. Yes people go to them. Don't be that person that goes to every party. Don't be the person that only wants to party. Other things exist in this world than getting wasted. Try to act your age and go to the movies or something. There will be plenty of time for getting shit faced in college, and after. Be a teenager. Go angst over some things.
#8. Stereo-typing. Don't. Just don't. No one person fits completely into a stereotype. I've got friends that are cowboys, that play gangster rap. Friends that wear skinny jeans, listen to metal, and are some of the nicest people I've ever met. You can't label a person, it wont ever work.
#9. Make your own decisions. I know this is preached at kids everywhere from the time they stopped shitting their pants. And still, there aren't a whole lot of people in this world that can man up, and make a choice on their own. I'm not talking about "Should I have american or swiss on my subway?", I'm talking about choices that are going to shape the rest of your life. Listen to other peoples opinions, get advice from people with different points of view, but at the end of the day, think for yourself.
#10. Let people make their own decisions. Live your own life, and let other people live theirs. It is fine to give people advice, but keep it at that. Opinions are fine, just remember that everyone else will have one. No matter how sure you are that you know better, you don't. You know best for you. And they know best for them. Know how to drop the subject, and stop trying to think for other people.
#11. If you own any piece of clothing that is see-through i.e. dresses, pants, spandex, shorts, shirts, or a toga. WEAR SOMETHING UNDERNEATH. AIN'T NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR, OR YOUR "BUSINESS". AIN'T NOBODY.
#12. Know how to pick your battles. And know when you have lost. Don't be that person that reverts to insults and random hand gestures after you've been schooled. Just don't.
#13. Ladies. Lipstick. Special occasions only. Not one of you needs to be wearing bright red lipstick to high school Monday morning. Know how to use your makeup. Fancy makeup for fancy clothes. Tone it down for casual wear. And just say no to it when you dress like a homeless grandma. (Mind Two cutting in: Are you saying I shouldn't wear makeup??? Mind one back at you: Are you saying you ever wear anything more than mascara??? You're naturally pretty. Now take your compliment and go. <3)
#14. Ladies again. If you do your hair, do your goddamn makeup. Nothing looks stranger than walking behind a girl who's hair looks great, then she turns around and bam! you have to repress the urge to go full Buffy on her, because her face is pale, her eyes are sunken into her head and basically she looks like Kristen Stewart.
#15. Dudes. For the love of all that is holy...COVER YOUR ASSES UP. It's okay to wear your pants low. It's alright to sag them a tiny bit. If you are belting your pants just below your ass, I'm going to put on my hazmat suit and kick your ass. Because its hanging out. Did you know that wearing your pants like that originated in prison? Men would sag their pants as a sign to the other inmates that they were "open for business" so unless you want a six foot four Mr. T look alike calling you darling, pull that shit up.


Mind Two:
#1. Unless they are your best friend, you have no right to tell them anything about their relationship. Even if you are the BFF, that line is still sketchy. Unless he is a total creep or an asshole, you should probably just let them be happy.

#2. Ok so I kind of suck at coming up with this stuff on my own. I am going to take the cheater's way out and just revamp some of it so it is better suited for teens. I am so creative.

#2 (for real). Tights are not pants. Leggings are not pants. You know what they would be called if they were? Pants.

#3. Never go overboard on the makeup. There will be some point in your life when you have to take most of it off in front of that person you were trying to impress. And then what are you going to do? They are going to know that you are ugly as hell and that you are insecure and feel like you have to make yourself into a different person, and there goes the whole relationship. Down the drain. Plus, other girls can totally tell when you are wearing a shit-ton of makeup.

#4. Why does almost every girl in high school feel the need to workout. Or college? Some say it makes them feel good. What?! It always makes me feel like I am about to vomit and pass out.

#5. If you cried over a guy, your friend dating them is out of the question. If they cheated on you and your friend still wants to date them, let the stupid ho figure it out for herself.

#6. Guys, if you like a girl, tell her she's pretty. Even better, compliment her hair. Unless it's in a ponytail, guaranteed she spent at least an hour on it.

#7. Don't touch a girl's hair. There is no reason that a girl would waste an hour of her morning on her hair if she knew it would just get messed up soon. So just don't.

#8. Mascara face. Every girl has one. It's just the best way to apply mascara. And if a girl tells you she doesn't, she is a dirty rotten liar.

#9. If you tell a guy that you are jealous and he asks what he can do differently, marry him. Marry him right now.

#10. If you have a guy friend who is attractive, be prepared to like them at least a little bit. No matter how much you tell yourself you never will, it will happen eventually. Especially if you talk to him all the time.

#11. Getting back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend. Never a good idea. If it didn't work out the first time, what the hell makes you think it will this time? Unless there is a completely valid reason, like you moved away and then moved back and there are still sparks, just don't do it.