I get told that my I.Q. is below avergae on a daily basis, by Dairy Queen customers. They feel the need to state the obvious at me, every customer, every day. Yes, dear customer, I am aware that I do in fact work at a dairy queen, and that it is expected to have ice cream at Dairy Queen, sometimes we get a new machine and have to switch things over. This means that we will in fact, be taking out ye ole creame de ice machine, and be in fact, inserting a new one. Weird. We must be sooo stooopid. (I spelled stupid incorrectly on purpose, because that's how you wonderful people verbalize it.) On the off chance that you, dear reader, are a dairy queen employee, skip this part, if you are not, read on suckah!!!
Making blizzards is fun, mainly because you get to operate a high powered blender thing, with your foot!!! YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!! It is less fun when you have an ice cream machine that thinks it would be fun to continuously switch between ice cream roughly consistent with baby diarrhea, and cement. It is rather impossible to make a blizzard that stands being flipped over, when the ice cream is baby diarrhea-esque. It is equally impossible to decently mix the components all throughout the blizzard when the ice cream is cement like. So my boss decides that now is the time! Now is the time to upgrade! To the magic ice cream 2000!!! (In all honesty I have no idea what our machine is, its just fancy. Lots of buttons and handles, and things I'm not allowed to touch) We will rise up! And get a new machine!!! Hell. Yeah!
One problem. The delivery guys, were late. So when we, the good people of the Dairy Queen, have ripped out our old machine, and have NO ICE CREAM, they aren't here yet. That awkward moment where the Dairy Queen is out of Ice Cream. Honestly. So all day long, waiting for the delivery guy, I had to tell people, that we are a Dairy Queen, with no. freaking. ice. cream. Son of a bitch.
Let me show you a conversation. (in parentheses, is what I wanted to say)
M1: Hi welcome to dairy queen! What can I do for you?
Lady: I want a blizzard!!! (Notice how she doesn't say hello back, or good day, or even screw you. Just starts demanding shit. Bitch)
M1: I'm sorry ma'am, we are in the process of switching ice cream machines, and we are temporarily out of ice cream.
Lady: You are a Dairy Queen. (REALLYYYYYY?????????????????????? no....)
M1: Yes ma'am, I know. We realize this is odd, but we appreciate your understanding.
Lady: No. Make me a blizzard. That's what I ordered. (I heard you, and you spit in my face. Ya nasty.)
M1:...Ma'am, we have no ice cream. I cannot just sell you the topping in a cup.
Lady: You have dilly bars. Those are made of ice cream. (Seriously? I thought we made them with fat free bull shit.)
M1: Those are premade.
Lady: I'm not a moron, use the damn dilly bars, to make my blizzard. Scrape them off the stick or something. (Oh yes, because the boss would love that.)
M1: Ma'am I can't.
Lady: Well you're a freaking moron. The customer is always right, now service me. (Whoa, that sounds vaugely sexual.)
M1: I don't mean to be rude, but it is not within my power to control when we switch ice cream machines.
Lady: Go to hell. (I'm already there, I have the work shirt to prove it.)
M1: Would you like fries with that? (Damn, I'm clever.)
Mind Two:
While I sympathize with Mind One, I am laughing hysterically at this conversation.
But whoever said the customer is always right, never met the customer. And I work at a local coffee shop, so we only get customers that I know or who know me. So I don't really have any stories like this. But, I think I can pretty much sum up how Mind One was feeling. With pictures!
"The customer is always right"
What the lady was like:
And what Mind One was like:
"I want a blizzard!!"
And when she finally left,
and
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