Wizards

Mind one. (omg. Font Colors!!)
(Also, if you're planning to be a robber, this is how to escape.)
Recently, I was being a good kid, and helping my mom with her job, down at the sage. This is fine, cause I get money, and its not that hard, and can actually be pretty fun. But never magical. Until today. Today I was punked by Professors Dumbledore and Mcgonagall. D and M for short cause both those names are a BITCH to type out. I was taking orders for my mom, seeings how she was stuck in the kitchen. I like waiting on people, chatting with them, and just getting the chance to talk to someone I probably otherwise would not of. Now, the sage is a bit confusing, to a new customer. When you approach the beast, there are three doors to choose from. Two are side by side on one wall, and one is all alone on a differant wall. The two side by side, lead to the kitchen and the bar. The loner leads to family dining. Now I understand, when you have the munchies, and are over twenty-one and legal to drink, in your rush to achieve satisfaction you may hit the wrong door. This is understandable, and happens, daily. I'm okay with that. So when two old people wander in through the kitchen door, I smile nicely at them and direct them to the bar, and to family dining. I watch them turn the corner into family dining, pick up my ticketbook and menus, step out the kitchen door, take the three steps to famiy dining's door, and go through. All I see is one old skinny ankle disappearing behind a wall. Now off of the family dining area, you can get to the bathrooms via a long skinny hall, and at the end of the hall was is the door to narnia. Just kidding. I wish. It leads out back. Out back is accessible from four points of entry. The dining entrance I just described, an entrance through the bar, and two gates. Said gates only open from the inside, and are usually locked, also they only lock from the inside. Now I'm curious, but whatever old people, pee, go outside, I will get your orders eventually, and you can't hide. After a few minutes, like five, they still havent ventured back into the dining room. So I go back into the kitchen, stick my head out to the bar and ask if anyone had seen the old couple that came through earlier, they all said no. So I began looking. And looking. And looking looking looking. Dear god, these old people could teach ninjas. Or wizards. They weren't in the bathrooms. They hadn't come back into the bar, or family dining. They weren't out back. The gates are locked, which I remind you is only possible from the inside, so if they had gone out a gate, they would have no way of shutting it. Now I'm confused. What the hell. How did I lose two old people. How does that even happen. I start doing loops here, through the dining room, bathrooms, out back, and repeat. Finally, I have to admit, that somehow, I've been outsmarted and outfoxed by two of the oldest people I've ever seen in my life. I started asking the bar flies, (technical term right there.), but they hadn't seen them either. There is no where they could of gone, no where they could be. They must of disapperated. I was punked, by D and M, from the Harry Potter books. I realize that I'm just a lowly muggle, but next time, a little warning. Your evil old farts.

Freakin wizards.

Mind Two:

Hahaha that's hilarious.

Now time for my disappearing things story!

Once upon a time, I was home alone. I was on the computer and looked out the very large front window.
Alright enough of talking like I am in a Disney princess movie.
As I was looking out the window, I saw 2 pigs ambling across the front lawn. PIGS! I don't own any pigs. I never have and I never will. And yet, there they were, on my lawn. So I did what any rational person would do, I called my mom. And you know what? She laughed at me! She thought I was trying to be funny. Well I wasn't, mom! And my dad and brother were gone hunting, so I couldn't call them. And when my mom came home, the pigs were gone! We searched every inch of our 72 acres and NOTHING! Nada, zip, zilch, zero. They. Were. Gone.

So a week later, we drive down to the pond and what do we find? THE PIGS! Don't worry the pond was empty, they were ok. And I was not deemed not crazy. Happy ending for everyone. 

Mind one.
You were punked by Harry Porker.