Ceptionillionares: "I was inverted"

Mind one.

If you know what this post is going to be about just from the title, good for you, if not you better fasten your seatbelts.

Top Gun. It's a classic movie, with all the critical components that make a movie awesome. There's action, there's romance, there's a whole lot of sass from all of the characters. Plus, there's a Top Gun quote for every occasion. Don't believe me? Then keep reading.

My first story regarding this movie happened at Basic (yes I know, ugh another Basic story, just let it happen). This is the one and only time I was ever singled out and yelled at during basic. And it was about Top Gun. I know. I didn't understand either. To make a long story shorter and funnier, I'll skip some bits. It all began with one DS introducing himself for no apparent reason as Maverick. He insisted we call him Maverick for the rest of the day. (Cue every private squinting at each other suspiciously.)
Unfortunately, I chose this moment to lose my damn mind and blurt out, "Maverick? Did your mother not like you or something?"
In the beat of silence that followed, I knew I had fucked up. I fucked up real bad.
Like a goddamn missile DS "Mav" came barreling through my platoons formation and got right in my face.
"What did you just say?"
Shit. There's a few options to answer that question and all of them ended badly. I opted for honesty, which in the end saved my pathetic ass from annihilation.
"Drill Sergeant, I said 'Maverick? Did your mother not like you or something?'"
Another beat of silence, and then DS #2 a.k.a. Iceman appeared behind me.

"Mav": "This private thinks she knows Top Gun Ice."
"Ice": "Bullshit"

What followed was about five minutes of two DS's screaming Top Gun quotes at me, and me scrambling to come up with the corresponding quote. If I was right, nothing happened. If I got it wrong, the whole battery would be beating their faces in the dirt. How's that for motivation?
Luckily for me, and the rest of the battery, I know that movie like the back of my hand.
From that day forward, I was known as the residential Top Gun expert, and also as "That asshole that almost got us smoked all day because of a fucking movie."

I'm not sorry.

Although, you'd think I would of learned my lesson about quoting movies in the military. I absolutely did not. The reactions I get are always perfect.

At NTC while discussing how to load the vehicle with the metric fuckton of gear
Me: "Talk to me goose."
The look I was given:

At a drill weekend, when a soldier was discussing a fight he had with his wife.

Me; "She's lost that loving feeling, I hate when she does that."

The reaction from my section: Three disgruntled expressions, and one Gibbs slap.

At NTC while driving an officer around.

Me: "I've got the need."

Officer: "The need for speed."

*high five*

This was followed by a soul deep sigh from the second officer in the back seat.

There's been no purpose to this post, and there wasn't supposed to be. The only take away is this, watch Top Gun and spread cheer to all you know by quoting it at all times appropriate or not.

Mind Two:

I also tend to quote shows at inappropriate. Except at least Mind One picks a show that most people will know. I usually end up quoting something super obscure or even if it is from a famous movie, it's a part no one remembers. Let me give you some examples.

My brother and I watch this web series called Kid History (on Youtube if you feel the need to watch). There is a part where one character gets a sweater for Christmas and screams it out at the top of his lungs, One time, when I was at the doctor, the nurse handed me the robe to change into, to which I promptly replied, "A NEW SWEATER! OH MY GOSH!!!!" The nurse just stared at me and walked out of the room. So awkward.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AvzaGkekDE

Another time, when I was talking to my friend and we were talking about how bored we were. And I said this: "Yet year after year, it's the same routine

And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing" The only thing that saved me was it said Jack the Pumpkin King, which is a giveaway.

I also quote a lot of Disney, which you think people would get. But alas.

When I was walking with my friend, my shoe was untied and she noticed and told me. To which I responded, "I'm a big tough girl. I can tie my own sandals and everything." A quote from Hercules in case you didn't know, like she didn't.

And here is what I say anytime my makeup doesn't turn out perfect. Which is practically everyday.