"I was inverted"

Mind one.

If you know what this post is going to be about just from the title, good for you, if not you better fasten your seatbelts.

Top Gun. It's a classic movie, with all the critical components that make a movie awesome. There's action, there's romance, there's a whole lot of sass from all of the characters. Plus, there's a Top Gun quote for every occasion. Don't believe me? Then keep reading.

My first story regarding this movie happened at Basic (yes I know, ugh another Basic story, just let it happen). This is the one and only time I was ever singled out and yelled at during basic. And it was about Top Gun. I know. I didn't understand either. To make a long story shorter and funnier, I'll skip some bits. It all began with one DS introducing himself for no apparent reason as Maverick. He insisted we call him Maverick for the rest of the day. (Cue every private squinting at each other suspiciously.)
Unfortunately, I chose this moment to lose my damn mind and blurt out, "Maverick? Did your mother not like you or something?"
In the beat of silence that followed, I knew I had fucked up. I fucked up real bad.
Like a goddamn missile DS "Mav" came barreling through my platoons formation and got right in my face.
"What did you just say?"
Shit. There's a few options to answer that question and all of them ended badly. I opted for honesty, which in the end saved my pathetic ass from annihilation.
"Drill Sergeant, I said 'Maverick? Did your mother not like you or something?'"
Another beat of silence, and then DS #2 a.k.a. Iceman appeared behind me.

"Mav": "This private thinks she knows Top Gun Ice."
"Ice": "Bullshit"

What followed was about five minutes of two DS's screaming Top Gun quotes at me, and me scrambling to come up with the corresponding quote. If I was right, nothing happened. If I got it wrong, the whole battery would be beating their faces in the dirt. How's that for motivation?
Luckily for me, and the rest of the battery, I know that movie like the back of my hand.
From that day forward, I was known as the residential Top Gun expert, and also as "That asshole that almost got us smoked all day because of a fucking movie."

I'm not sorry.

Although, you'd think I would of learned my lesson about quoting movies in the military. I absolutely did not. The reactions I get are always perfect.

At NTC while discussing how to load the vehicle with the metric fuckton of gear
Me: "Talk to me goose."
The look I was given:

At a drill weekend, when a soldier was discussing a fight he had with his wife.

Me; "She's lost that loving feeling, I hate when she does that."

The reaction from my section: Three disgruntled expressions, and one Gibbs slap. 

At NTC while driving an officer around.

Me: "I've got the need."

Officer: "The need for speed."

*high five*

This was followed by a soul deep sigh from the second officer in the back seat. 

There's been no purpose to this post, and there wasn't supposed to be. The only take away is this, watch Top Gun and spread cheer to all you know by quoting it at all times appropriate or not. 

Mind Two:

I also tend to quote shows at inappropriate. Except at least Mind One picks a show that most people will know. I usually end up quoting something super obscure or even if it is from a famous movie, it's a part no one remembers. Let me give you some examples.

My brother and I watch this web series called Kid History (on Youtube if you feel the need to watch). There is a part where one character gets a sweater for Christmas and screams it out at the top of his lungs, One time, when I was at the doctor, the nurse handed me the robe to change into, to which I promptly replied, "A NEW SWEATER! OH MY GOSH!!!!" The nurse just stared at me and walked out of the room. So awkward.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AvzaGkekDE

Another time, when I was talking to my friend and we were talking about how bored we were. And I said this: "Yet year after year, it's the same routine

And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing" The only thing that saved me was it said Jack the Pumpkin King, which is a giveaway.

I also quote a lot of Disney, which you think people would get. But alas.

When I was walking with my friend, my shoe was untied and she noticed and told me. To which I responded, "I'm a big tough girl. I can tie my own sandals and everything." A quote from Hercules in case you didn't know, like she didn't.

And here is what I say anytime my makeup doesn't turn out perfect. Which is practically everyday.

And what I say to people who ask for ridiculous favors.

And when a friend asks me how their hair looks.

So basically, if you ever hear Mind Two spouting words of what seems like nonsense, it's probably just a random movie quote. Worry not.

Drill Sergeants Love Rabbits

Mind one.
I originally intended to post this right after I got back from AIT and it's just been sitting here, so I present a moderately motivational post for no real damn reason.

Moving on. Now most people don't know this, but before you actually begin basic training, there is a week or so of reception. And reception sucks. So so much. Because you basically get issued a crap ton of clothes, you get poked and prodded by every manner of medical professional possible, and you do a whole lot of sitting around getting yelled at. The DS's (Drill Sergeant's) at reception are 1000x more hateful than the ones at actual training. The DS I remember very vividly from reception is DS H. I'll leave off his whole name because 1. I cannot spell it. And 2. OPSEC.

DS H had a mile wide Colgate commercial worthy smile. He never ever put his teeth away. Even when he would say, "soldiers, I'm going to kick you so hard in the chest that your heart will stop and you will die." he smiled. Which was terrifying. But one thing I remember best from reception is this.

We were marching back from dinner chow. Or trying to, image around two hundred and fifty people trying to stay in step with each other, sound off with the cadence, and not straight fall on their face. Most of these privates had never marched before, so it was just painful all around for everyone. As we are struggling along, all of the sudden DS H calls, "platoon, HALT!". Naturally we stumbled our way to a stop, and stood there in a minor state of panic. The next thing I know, DS H darts past me, whips off his campaign hat and proceeds to yell, "do you see that rabbit soldiers? I'm going to catch it."
...What? You're going to what?
He made a solid effort, hat in one hand, chasing around a baby rabbit. After a good two minutes of chasing the rabbit around buildings, the formation, and through a couple of bushes, he turns back to us, puts his hat on, and nods. At this point we were all caught between wanting to laugh at the sight of a drill sergeant chasing a tiny rabbit frantically, and not wanting to get "nuked so hard you will glow, and then I will shoot you in the dark."

DS H comes to the front of the formation and gave us the most inspirational speech we would hear at reception.

"Soldiers, that baby rabbit is all alone. It's mother is dead on the side of the road. It's foot is broken. But did the baby rabbit want help? Hell no. The baby rabbit keeps on going. If the baby rabbit doesn't need help, neither do you privates. Just remember every time a private quits, a kitten dies." Seemingly pleased with the days work, he called forward march, and that was that.

For those of you who never had a DS, you won't understand how your DS can be the most inspirational figure in your life, while also the most terrifying. I'm not done with DS stories, but that covers it for reception. Because I spent 9 weeks with my Basic DS's I have many more stories, and they impacted me a hell of a lot more. But I can honestly say I will remember DS H chasing a tiny rabbit around the formation for a very long time.