Thursday, August 21, 2014

Spider: One/Mind Two: Zero

Mind Two:
Another thing I am scared of: spiders. "Little pieces of death wrapped in scary." Although I don't know anyone who actually likes spiders, I am completely terrified of them. They gross me out and are just plain creepy. So now let me tell you a little story called "The Time I Stood Up To a Spider (and Almost Killed Myself)".

One morning I was getting ready for school. As I was getting ready to leave my room to go eat breakfast, I realized I forgot to turn off the light in my bedroom. I turned around to head back up the stairs and BOOM! There it was. The spider. Looking at me all creepy with its 16 billion eyes. And in that moment, I decided something. I would face my fear and I will kill that spider. Then I had to give myself an inspirational speech, which went like this:

"Today is the day, spider. I will rise up, and I will CRUCIFY HIIIMMMM!!!"



Then I stood like that for a couple seconds and got myself prepared.
I took my shoe off, raised it above my head, about to crush the evil spider, and then it happened.

THE SPIDER FUCKING MOVED!

I screamed and threw my shoe at the spider, getting ready to run for my life.

I turned to run back down the stairs and grabbed the railing. As I was running down the stairs, my hand wasn't moving as fast as my feet, so instead of going straight down the stairs, I swung around and slammed my head into the wall. Which is how Mind Two got a giant bruise on her forehead for a week and also why whenever I see a spider now, I just scream until someone comes to kill it for me.





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