Now that track is over and school is out, I'll regale you with a fine tale of my greater track experiences. This could get confusing, but do try to follow along. The following tale takes place at a home meet, earlier in the season.
Being the bad ass that I am, I decided that only doing two events in track is perfectly okay, and not at all lazy or slacker like. Even if one event is high jump, and all I want to do is whale jump on the mats all day long. I also did the three hundred hurdles, which more than makes up for my laziness, and the rest of the team. That race is the devil. No, not the devil. More like the devil hopped up on redbull and coffee with a porcupine up his ass. It sucks. But I had friends to suffer with me! Yay! Also known as "The hurdle buddies". Batesy, badger, and nubsie. Sadly, I actually call them these names, I didn't just make them up right now to preserve their identities. (I just laughed out loud because identities has the word tities in it, which is a misspelling of titties. and way too much coffee could be involved.) Anyway, you know how there is that one person in every group that is so up tight that they can barely be seen amongst the peasants, they obsess over their grades, homework is gone over with a fine tooth comb, and test day might as well be a nuclear bomb threat. If you can't think of this person, you are probably them, and you're probably not reading this because you're off doing prep work for next year. In the hurdle buddies, this was nubsie. (I love nubsie, don't get the wrong idea that I'm hating on her here.) Then you have badger, who is literally a six foot something walking, talking, hurdling, asshat. Don't get me wrong, this kid is my amigo, and that's probably because I'm an asshat too. Badger really likes to push nubsie's buttons, and watch her freak out. The third hurdle buddie is also a state champion in hurdles. Batsey is one of those people that works all freaking day long at something, and it's bad on your self esteem to be around her because then you start to doubt your slacker ways. (Chances are if you're like me, you get over it pretty fast and accept that slacking is okay.)
Anyways, at this home meet there was this guy here from an opposing school, who just happened to be a freaking high jump god. And nubsie found him to be most pleasing to the eyes. And I like to annoy nubsie. So we are wandering around trying to find batesy to start warming up for the hurdles because our coach thinks you need to warm up for a freaking hour before your race. Yeah, I'm looking at you Jacobs. Anyway, attractive high jump guy is walking past me and nubs, and I take the opportunity to flail my blanket out behind me, skip into the air, and scream at the top of my lungs. "I'M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And nubs, just freaks the crap out. She turned so red, aliens that were about to attack earth aborted their mission because they thought we had fired up a high tech laser. And she just turns, and dives away from me, then takes off doing that awkward run-walk-shuffle thing that you do when you want to get away from something, but don't want to look suspicious. And she sort of hunched over, like she thought that if she got low to the ground, he wouldn't notice that we were walking together.
And then she dives behind the track shed kinda like this.
I turn and look at the guy, and he is standing there like a hurricane survivor or some shit. All wide eyed, and then he just gives me this awkward half smile, and sits down right where he was. Like maybe I had traumatized him so badly he couldn't carry on.
And that's how I broke nubsie.
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