How to Avoid Homework

Mind Two:
I really hate homework, as do most people, but not Mind One because she never has any. Assbutt. If you ever feel like not doing your homework and you need a way to explain not doing it to your parents, just refer back to this post. You're welcome.

#1
Tell your mom you are getting sick and need to drink lots of orange juice so as not to affect your entire family. (Could also work as an excuse not to go to school.)

#2
Go to Pinterest. Find a really complicated nail design. Spend the better part of the day doing your nails.

Even if they only turn out like this, at least you still didn't have to do your homework.

#3
If you are in a more advanced math class that requires an expensive calculator, tell your mom that you are doing math. Then go through the options on your calculator until you find the games.

#4
When she walks into the room where you are, pretend to be on the phone with your teacher. But really, be on the phone with your best friend. But please refrain from saying things like, "Tiffany kissed Johnny last night. That's a problem, because I like Johnny." Because I am pretty sure you wouldn't talk to your teacher like that. And if you do talk to your teacher like that, stop. Also, at least have a semi-serious face.

#5
Pretend you are really sick, like on your deathbed, and pretend to be on WebMD. Tears would be helpful.

Bonus: Your mom will most likely spend a lot of time trying to comfort you and forget all about the homework you aren't doing.

#6
Tell your mom instead of spending a bunch of money on a professional photographer, you are just going to take selfies for your senior pictures. But they require a lot of time, what with all the deciding on poses and whatnot. I recommend the classic duckface.

#7

Tell your mom you straighten your hair too much and you have a lot of split ends that you are trying to cut off. She can't disturb you though, otherwise, you will end up cutting off a huge chunk and then she will have to fork over $40 for a haircut because it was all her fault.



#8
Tell your mom you have a new goal to read the whole bible in one year. And then continue on with reading your bible. Because what mom doesn't want their child to read the bible?

But really, stash another book inside your bible.

But then you should probably actually read some of your real bible, to make up for all the lying you just did.

#9
If you are sitting on the computer and your mom asks what you are doing, just respond with, "Mom, shh. I am trying to focus. This is really stressing me out!" At which point, she will automatically assume it's homework and leave you alone.

#10
Find a pair of your old baby shoes. Keep them near you and when your mom walks in, just hold them up and look at her like this.

And then she will start crying and you guys will have a very emotional bonding moment and she will totally forget about making you do your homework. *note-this should only be used when prepared for a 30 minute to 2 hour long emotional talk about your childhood.

#11
If you live in Oregon, tell your mom you feel like you are starting to get a sinus infection. This will prompt her to drive to Idaho so buy some Sudafed so she doesn't have to take you to the doctor. If she still insists on taking you to the doctor, have a mental breakdown because you don't want to go and then start ranmbling on about how going to the doctor is just a huge conspiracy. Then she would rather just go get the Sudafed instead of deal with your unstable emotionalness.

See? Works every time.