Fairy wings.

Mind one.
I have a problem, and  its called, startapostneverfinishititis. And its shitty. Thanks for asking. Life long disease, no cure in sight. Damn.
I started this post, with a very specific idea in mind, and now, I have no idea what I was planning on talking about. This happens all the time, so now, this will be a post about why I never finish my freaking posts.

1. I can't find a song I want to listen to, and spend half an hour on youtube song bouncing.
2. I get bored, get on facebook, and start playing SongPop
3. I lose track of what.
4. I don't even know what I was saying on number three, point made.
5. I try to blog at school, but then I make eye contact with sexy people across the room and oh look....gurrrl look at that body. (Mind Two jumping in here. She is talking about me, in case you were wondering)
6. Blogger hates my spelling.
7. Mind two. She is distracting me, showing my pictures and whatnot.
8. Some girl is muttering about Shrek, and I'm not sure what to do.
9. Cast boy almost knocked all my crap off the table, bad cast boy.
10. I now have a kindle and will never achieve anything in my life again.


And I keep finding hilarious things on pintrest. I also love lord of the rings. So I end up leaping around my living room fighting invisible orc armies, instead of blogging, or school work, or anything really.

Mind Two:
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha it lets me type at school!!!!

Things Disney Taught Me

Mind Two:

Alright, I know this is kind of a repetitive topic, but I have a few new enlightenment's to share with you. Everyone talks about everything Disney taught them, but I am going to show you all my theories.

Disney taught me that I need to hang out in the woods more often.
Every Disney princess who has fallen madly in love, has fallen madly in love because of the woods. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle (from Beauty and the Beast), Pocohontas, there is some debate over Mulan, and the girl from Tangled (the one with the long hair) (mind one here, really, the one with the long hair?? her name is Rapunzel, and opposed to the girl from tangled with the weave?). So ladies, if you want to find yourself a man, go camping or hiking or climb a tree. But seriously, if you have the sudden urge to get married, find a forest.

If you want incredible, flowing hair, throw away your hairbursh and make a raccoon your best friend. (Like Pocohontas, in case you didn't get that reference). Seriously, she has this amazing hair and not ONCE in the movie does she pull out her brush. It is all long and flowing, like a black waterfall. (M1 here. I like that by the way, its a gun, and now I shall refer to myself as M1, and your hair is red my friend.)

It is totally ok to talk to strangers, because if they happen to be handsome, you will marry them.
Really? Because if this were true, I would have been married 5 times by now. I thought these movies were supposed to be for little kids! Wrong! If you haven't seen the princess movies in awhile, go back and watch them and see how many of the dirty jokes you can catch.



Take that, Prince Charming!!









M1: I told you I would use this, and I shall.

Pinterest: The Death of the Mind One (ERMAHGERD)

Mind one.
Alright, no words, just pictures.



























And finally, words.
What I'm picturing you guys saying right now.

First few pictures.
"Mind one."
Keep scrolling.
"Mind one, wat r u doing?"
More scrolling!!! Yay!!!
"Mind one...."
Still more scrolling!!!
"Stahp." >:(

Adam Levine

Mind one. (This post needs a rating, small childern stay out.)

Mind Two sidenote:
I thought you should know that Mind One is a X-rated Mary Poppins, so that should give you a good rating on this post.

Mind one.
Alright. I was going through our stats again. I know I know, I have a problem. But here is the bigger problem. This nifty little box tells us what google keywords had been used to find our blog, and the like, next to last keyword search, was "Adam Levine's Penis."

Ferreal guys? You can't just type whatever tickles your pickle into google search and think that you will be the only one to know about it. Obviously, I'm not an internet hacker or anything, but now I know that someone in the world, wants his penis. This is nothing new, every straight woman with a half of a brain wants it. Thats not my point, my point is, that you were so lonely and bored, you actually tried to google it. Adam Levine is not Pete Wentz, and much as I love Pete, he did in fact post his penis, (Petis. Haaa!!) on the internet. Adam did not. So lets calm down, you ball of raging hormones, and look at normal porn if its really that big of a deal. You'll probably see Christina Agu-howeverthehellyouspellit. Thats not a picture, video, or anything I ever wanna see.

By the way, exactly how many pages of google search results did you have to go through to find this blog. That is desperate my friend, desperate indeed. Disclaimer. Ceptionillionares does not posses a picture of Adam Levine's "No no square", and even if we did, it wouldn't go on the blog, we want the viewers to actually read to posts, not beat off. (Its bad for the keyboards and other electronics.)

Also, another keyword search. "Baby corn makes me feel like a giant." Once again, why in the holy hell where you even searching for this. What kind of sick freak are you? Do you get off on being bigger than a midget aborted corn fetus? Cause I have news for you, if you are truly that desperate, and feel that you must show your size dominion over ever little object, its likely you have a "little object" yourself. Is that what flicks your bean??  I'm sorry, that was vastly inappropriate. Whatever makes you feel nice. (Once again, not on the keyboard.)

There was also something about a three way. What the hell people. This blog does not even mention threeways. Until this post, but you made me do it. Its not my fault. So. Now there is a reason for "Three way" searches to toss up this blog. On like, the thirty first page of google searches. Or the sixty ninth. HA!

(I didn't think this post was going to be so perverted when I started it. Sorry.)

(Not so much.)

Mind Two:
I am not entirely sure I can top this or add anything that makes it anymore significant. But I will sum it up for you:
Don't ever do anything on the internet you don't want other people finding out about because even if you live in Marituas or wheretehheckinstan, we will know. Wonder Woman and Batgirl will know.
Also, homecoming is coming up and the theme is superheroes!! Guess who Mind One and Two are going as? (If you can't guess this, read some older posts and stop being a slacker.) I promise you we will post pictures because it will be EPIC!

Chemistry Shenanigans

Mind Two:

On most days, Chemistry is one of my easier classes.  The labs take hardly any time at all and my partner and I get it done really quickly and we even get good grades. Wednesday was not one of those days.

We had a lab that day, and Jessica and I were partners as usual.  Except this lab didn't go quite as smoothly.

First, we had to mix hydrochloric acid with something else and then observe what happens.  This would have gone smoothly, except for the fact that Jessica got it on her hands and had a minor heart attack, thinking her skin was going to fall off.

Then we had to mix hydrogen peroxide and some black powder.  I told her not to pour the hydrogen peroxide into a beaker, because it was dirty, and she does it anyway.  Then she asks me to turn on the water so she can rinse it out.  When I turned it on, the water came out really fast so as soon as she stuck the beaker under the faucet, it sprayed all over my face.


And of course the teacher chooses that exact moment to walk by. And see everything. 
And this is the face he makes:


Then we had to light stuff on fire, which is never a good idea. She went to turn the gas on for the burner and hit her head on the top of the cabinet.



When she had finally got it lit and was trying to turn it off, she almost lit her sleeve on fire.


After this, we only had 3 more stations to go to. What could happen within the time period of 15 minutes? Nothing. WRONG!!

We. Almost. Died.

When you light magnesium on fire, it burns hella bright. Like the sun, except concentrated into one little place. And it's white. And for this lab, we have to light a piece of magnesium on fire. So she lights the burner and while she does this, she hands me the piece of magnesium, which she was holding, so that she could light it. Well I took this to mean, "here, you get to light it on fire", which was stupid because usually she does all the experiments and I just tell her what the instructions mean. So as soon as she puts the match down, I put the magnesium in the flame just in time to hear her say, "don't light that yet". And it blew up. Most of the time, you can tell when to look away (which the instructions say to do) because it turns blue or green before it bursts into a miniature sun. But ours didn't. It just started out a really intense white. We went blind for 4 seconds, I am pretty sure. We saw the light, and we may have even crossed over to the other side for a few seconds.

         

And while this was burning, she had picked up the glass dish that was supposed to hold the burnt piece of magnesium after you got done with it. So I am waving it around while I am temporarily blind, trying to find the glass dish to put it on. She realized she was holding it and in  an attempt not to get burned, she threw it on the table. And I was waving the mini sun around, trying to find the glass plate and trying not to kill anyone and I somehow managed to make it onto the glass. Without killing anyone.

Moral of the story, Michelle Obama will probably soon ban chemistry, like she banned peanut butter.

Work makes me bi-polar.

Mind one:

I have a serious problem with treating all customers the same. I treat all of them nicely, but there are some serious differances.

My face when five screaming kids come in:

My face when a cute old couple comes in:

The tone of voice I use on grumpy middle aged butt wipes:

The tone of voice I use on alone old people:

What I sound like when putting in orders when its super slow:

What I sound like when putting in orders when its super busy as shit:

(Also how I talk when the customer is attractive.)

 Mind Two:

Hahahahaha I love these!! I shall now try to find some pictures that describe what I am like when I am working.

What I feel like before I know if someone is going to tip me or not

"How can I be of service to you?"

 How I feel after someone leaves without tipping

 How I feel when someone can't decide and then they change their mind forty times

 

 What I feel like when someone comes in with really cute kids...

 

 But I have to act like a professional

 What I feel like when I mess up and have to start over on an order

 Or

 

When I take someones order and then have to make them repeat it, they just look at me like

When the milk falls off the steamer and explodes over everything, I'm just like

And one more...

How I looked when my face smacked into the window (if you don't get this reference, read Take This Job and Shove It)

And how I felt...