School...the 12 Year Death Sentence

Mind Two:

Every year for nine months, we are stuck in this prison.


I have no idea where I was going with this one. Mind One, feel free to jump in.

Mind Two again:
New Idea!!

I will turn this into a picture post about my school day and the differences between the upperclassmen and lowerclassmen.

School Picture Adventure!!

How my teachers think of themselves:


 During any class that I have to pay attention in:


How I felt the first day of school as a freshman:


 When everyone is standing in a cluster around MY desk and I am trying to sit down, I am just like:


 When my best friend says she is going home:


 When the teacher says the assignment is actually short and they could have made it longer, I'm just like:


 As a freshman:


 As a junior/senior:


 Monday:


 When the teacher says you can't do this assignment the night before:


 When two of my friends want to see my assignment, I am just like:


When someone you don't know very well is having a meltdown in class:


When someone asks for a drink of my coffee in the morning:


When you unexpectedly have a substitute teacher:


When you are talking and the teacher asks if you have your assignment done:


When I ask someone for help and someone else answers:


When someone says school was easy:


The last day of the week:
 

When I explain what actually goes on during school to relatives, they're just like:


 Freshman Hallway:


 When your friend asks where you put their stuff:


 When my partner and I ace a project:


 When the teacher gives you an extra day for an assignment:


When the teacher decides to let it be a "work day":


Thursday morning:


When I walk into a class where everyone is talking and the teacher is gone:


When someone tells me that the last two years of high school are easy, I am just like:


When I realize we have a four day weekend:

Adam Levine AGAIN

Mind one. If the title of this post doesn't make sense, go read this first.
This is another X-Rated Mary Poppins post. Just saying

Okay, so I realize I probably opened the door on this one, but all ya'll horny women on the Internet need to get a goddamn grip on your hormones. Googling things such as. "Adam Levine penis size" and "Adam Levine penis pics" is just not okay. Adam Levine clearly doesn't want you to see his penis, otherwise, you would be finding those pictures, and not our blog. Not that I don't want you to find the blog, and read it, and love it. But I don't want you to find the blog while on a penis hunt. Please come back and read our blog after you finish...whatever it is your doing. (NOT ON THE KEYBOARD!!!)
Okay, I just watched O' Brother where art thou? and now I made myself think of a quote.
"Oh George, not the livestock."
So I am going to rewrite this quote as.
"Oh reader, not the keyboard."
STOP SEARCHING FOR HIS PENIS. HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO FIND IT. And if, dear reader, you just feel you cannot live without seeing his penis. Find him, and ask him politely, like any sane, normal female.

Mind Two:
I would just like to point out that Mind Two is sticking to this whole different font thing even if Mind One won't and even if it is a pain. But I am still doing it because I am a good blogger.

Also this "all ya'll horny women on the Internet need to get a goddamn grip on your hormones." just made me laugh hysterically.  And I have no idea why.

So for all ya'll horny women, here are a few pictures that made me think of you.

"I finally found Adam Levine's penis!"




 This is the face you probably made when you found out other women were googling Adam Levine.

"I will cut you"


"This blog is NOT Adam Levine's penis."
 








 

Fairy wings.

Mind one.
I have a problem, and  its called, startapostneverfinishititis. And its shitty. Thanks for asking. Life long disease, no cure in sight. Damn.
I started this post, with a very specific idea in mind, and now, I have no idea what I was planning on talking about. This happens all the time, so now, this will be a post about why I never finish my freaking posts.

1. I can't find a song I want to listen to, and spend half an hour on youtube song bouncing.
2. I get bored, get on facebook, and start playing SongPop
3. I lose track of what.
4. I don't even know what I was saying on number three, point made.
5. I try to blog at school, but then I make eye contact with sexy people across the room and oh look....gurrrl look at that body. (Mind Two jumping in here. She is talking about me, in case you were wondering)
6. Blogger hates my spelling.
7. Mind two. She is distracting me, showing my pictures and whatnot.
8. Some girl is muttering about Shrek, and I'm not sure what to do.
9. Cast boy almost knocked all my crap off the table, bad cast boy.
10. I now have a kindle and will never achieve anything in my life again.


And I keep finding hilarious things on pintrest. I also love lord of the rings. So I end up leaping around my living room fighting invisible orc armies, instead of blogging, or school work, or anything really.

Mind Two:
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha it lets me type at school!!!!

Things Disney Taught Me

Mind Two:

Alright, I know this is kind of a repetitive topic, but I have a few new enlightenment's to share with you. Everyone talks about everything Disney taught them, but I am going to show you all my theories.

Disney taught me that I need to hang out in the woods more often.
Every Disney princess who has fallen madly in love, has fallen madly in love because of the woods. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle (from Beauty and the Beast), Pocohontas, there is some debate over Mulan, and the girl from Tangled (the one with the long hair) (mind one here, really, the one with the long hair?? her name is Rapunzel, and opposed to the girl from tangled with the weave?). So ladies, if you want to find yourself a man, go camping or hiking or climb a tree. But seriously, if you have the sudden urge to get married, find a forest.

If you want incredible, flowing hair, throw away your hairbursh and make a raccoon your best friend. (Like Pocohontas, in case you didn't get that reference). Seriously, she has this amazing hair and not ONCE in the movie does she pull out her brush. It is all long and flowing, like a black waterfall. (M1 here. I like that by the way, its a gun, and now I shall refer to myself as M1, and your hair is red my friend.)

It is totally ok to talk to strangers, because if they happen to be handsome, you will marry them.
Really? Because if this were true, I would have been married 5 times by now. I thought these movies were supposed to be for little kids! Wrong! If you haven't seen the princess movies in awhile, go back and watch them and see how many of the dirty jokes you can catch.



Take that, Prince Charming!!









M1: I told you I would use this, and I shall.

Pinterest: The Death of the Mind One (ERMAHGERD)

Mind one.
Alright, no words, just pictures.



























And finally, words.
What I'm picturing you guys saying right now.

First few pictures.
"Mind one."
Keep scrolling.
"Mind one, wat r u doing?"
More scrolling!!! Yay!!!
"Mind one...."
Still more scrolling!!!
"Stahp." >:(

Adam Levine

Mind one. (This post needs a rating, small childern stay out.)

Mind Two sidenote:
I thought you should know that Mind One is a X-rated Mary Poppins, so that should give you a good rating on this post.

Mind one.
Alright. I was going through our stats again. I know I know, I have a problem. But here is the bigger problem. This nifty little box tells us what google keywords had been used to find our blog, and the like, next to last keyword search, was "Adam Levine's Penis."

Ferreal guys? You can't just type whatever tickles your pickle into google search and think that you will be the only one to know about it. Obviously, I'm not an internet hacker or anything, but now I know that someone in the world, wants his penis. This is nothing new, every straight woman with a half of a brain wants it. Thats not my point, my point is, that you were so lonely and bored, you actually tried to google it. Adam Levine is not Pete Wentz, and much as I love Pete, he did in fact post his penis, (Petis. Haaa!!) on the internet. Adam did not. So lets calm down, you ball of raging hormones, and look at normal porn if its really that big of a deal. You'll probably see Christina Agu-howeverthehellyouspellit. Thats not a picture, video, or anything I ever wanna see.

By the way, exactly how many pages of google search results did you have to go through to find this blog. That is desperate my friend, desperate indeed. Disclaimer. Ceptionillionares does not posses a picture of Adam Levine's "No no square", and even if we did, it wouldn't go on the blog, we want the viewers to actually read to posts, not beat off. (Its bad for the keyboards and other electronics.)

Also, another keyword search. "Baby corn makes me feel like a giant." Once again, why in the holy hell where you even searching for this. What kind of sick freak are you? Do you get off on being bigger than a midget aborted corn fetus? Cause I have news for you, if you are truly that desperate, and feel that you must show your size dominion over ever little object, its likely you have a "little object" yourself. Is that what flicks your bean??  I'm sorry, that was vastly inappropriate. Whatever makes you feel nice. (Once again, not on the keyboard.)

There was also something about a three way. What the hell people. This blog does not even mention threeways. Until this post, but you made me do it. Its not my fault. So. Now there is a reason for "Three way" searches to toss up this blog. On like, the thirty first page of google searches. Or the sixty ninth. HA!

(I didn't think this post was going to be so perverted when I started it. Sorry.)

(Not so much.)

Mind Two:
I am not entirely sure I can top this or add anything that makes it anymore significant. But I will sum it up for you:
Don't ever do anything on the internet you don't want other people finding out about because even if you live in Marituas or wheretehheckinstan, we will know. Wonder Woman and Batgirl will know.
Also, homecoming is coming up and the theme is superheroes!! Guess who Mind One and Two are going as? (If you can't guess this, read some older posts and stop being a slacker.) I promise you we will post pictures because it will be EPIC!

Chemistry Shenanigans

Mind Two:

On most days, Chemistry is one of my easier classes.  The labs take hardly any time at all and my partner and I get it done really quickly and we even get good grades. Wednesday was not one of those days.

We had a lab that day, and Jessica and I were partners as usual.  Except this lab didn't go quite as smoothly.

First, we had to mix hydrochloric acid with something else and then observe what happens.  This would have gone smoothly, except for the fact that Jessica got it on her hands and had a minor heart attack, thinking her skin was going to fall off.

Then we had to mix hydrogen peroxide and some black powder.  I told her not to pour the hydrogen peroxide into a beaker, because it was dirty, and she does it anyway.  Then she asks me to turn on the water so she can rinse it out.  When I turned it on, the water came out really fast so as soon as she stuck the beaker under the faucet, it sprayed all over my face.


And of course the teacher chooses that exact moment to walk by. And see everything. 
And this is the face he makes:


Then we had to light stuff on fire, which is never a good idea. She went to turn the gas on for the burner and hit her head on the top of the cabinet.



When she had finally got it lit and was trying to turn it off, she almost lit her sleeve on fire.


After this, we only had 3 more stations to go to. What could happen within the time period of 15 minutes? Nothing. WRONG!!

We. Almost. Died.

When you light magnesium on fire, it burns hella bright. Like the sun, except concentrated into one little place. And it's white. And for this lab, we have to light a piece of magnesium on fire. So she lights the burner and while she does this, she hands me the piece of magnesium, which she was holding, so that she could light it. Well I took this to mean, "here, you get to light it on fire", which was stupid because usually she does all the experiments and I just tell her what the instructions mean. So as soon as she puts the match down, I put the magnesium in the flame just in time to hear her say, "don't light that yet". And it blew up. Most of the time, you can tell when to look away (which the instructions say to do) because it turns blue or green before it bursts into a miniature sun. But ours didn't. It just started out a really intense white. We went blind for 4 seconds, I am pretty sure. We saw the light, and we may have even crossed over to the other side for a few seconds.

         

And while this was burning, she had picked up the glass dish that was supposed to hold the burnt piece of magnesium after you got done with it. So I am waving it around while I am temporarily blind, trying to find the glass dish to put it on. She realized she was holding it and in  an attempt not to get burned, she threw it on the table. And I was waving the mini sun around, trying to find the glass plate and trying not to kill anyone and I somehow managed to make it onto the glass. Without killing anyone.

Moral of the story, Michelle Obama will probably soon ban chemistry, like she banned peanut butter.